-Short Random Things #1-

today oof

i started writing this yesterday hence the 'today' but i'll mark where i started finishing this note today (right now at this moment) with '*'

so today happened.

went to town, kind of got triggered by my fucking anxiety twice (the first being because my mum and sister were taking forever talking to someone and the next being because it WAS FUCKING CROWDED IN ASDA LIKE WTF!), and now i'm currently missing a few people oof 😔😔

obviously i'm missing my nan BUT i'm missing one person who literally doesn't talk to me anyone and i just feel like I did something wrong!

like we had about two or three ups and downs, the first being when she 'prepressured' me into telling her that she's my crush but then feeling embarrassed and sad that she was taken at the time, then a literal day later she comes running back to me and BOOM WE WERE GOING OUT! time skip to fucking exactly two weeks later (after her trying to talk me 24/7 after school and shit even though i was busy with writing and other shit) SHE BREAKS UP WITH ME!

now i'm kind of thinking she's back with that person she was going out with before we started our relationship as i swear i've seen her hang around with more lately.

also one of my best friends (ex-best friend i guess now?) doesn't talk to me anymore after Monday when i was walking with other friends who i usually walk with and she walked with us for a few minutes and when i got home she messaged me if i'm mad at her? the only person who i'm mad at is my ex because i feel like she's putting the blame of our breakup on me JUST BECAUSE I DID NOT TEXT HER EVERY TIME SHE TEXTED ME!! * It really annoys me because now i have no one to talk to about anything to do with K-Pop thanks this stupid year being a bitch.

Anyway, after days and days of trying to get creative to write the second chapter of 'Happiness' over on http-doubledare I have finally got creative and now gonna write a few paragraphs (and probably the whole chapter and another) then transfer it to the other notepad i have where i up-skill it just in case i wrote a word (for example 'said') too many times. I also really need to update it as I put the story on Quotev too (I feel like over there is where most of my readers for Happiness will be at ha, so far I have like... 8 readers? One's a guest anyway) and it's been like a full on week and I hate not updating my stories for a full week or two as it makes me just forget about it and then after about a few months i'm like:

Me: "oh! i forgot about this story! what should i do with it now though?"

and i'm also like;

My own morality: "FINISH IT! :D Your readers will be sad if you don't!"

My own logical fucked up brain: "You're not going to have enough time to get about five, maybe even ten new chapters out as you've most probably have forgotten about the plot and what you were gonna do with it already."

My own creativity whose currently having a tea party with Writers Block: "well you do have writers block, so...?"

Writers Block: "PROCRASTINATE!!! :D"

...

I HATE WRITERS BLOCK SO MUCH!! *throws Writers Block into a fucking hole because they're a bitch and i hate them*

... here's some random photos that represent my mood today anyway;

YOU THOUGHT THAT I WOULD PUT A SANDERS SIDES SCREENSHOT DIDN'T YA?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH... nah 😂

Listening to: LET IT DIE by MY FIRST STORY
(i'm listening to songs of my mp3 player as my phone is charging and both my laptop + iPad needs charging too but i can't charge all three at the same time oof)