Smutty With A Twist

Never Say Goodbye

They say he went peaceful. But dying seems so rough, so violent. Maybe not now but what about after? Nothing is truly peaceful. I lean into Ben's chest sobbing durn the whole ceremony almost. I tried to keep my cool when I went up and talked.

"Ky and I were best friends" I laugh slightly to the large group of people who have come for the service. "he taught me video game, how to play the guitar, how to fix a car but most of all that monsters aren't real. Looking back, he was wrong. Back then I was afraid of the big Harry monster named Alfie my closet. Now I realize that the true monster lurks in the dark. Whether the darkness of an alley or your mind."

I leave as that. I'm not sure why but I felt done. The. I go back to sobbing. Somethings just suck.

That night whilst Sam was asleep in the other room, Ben and I played COD until three in the morning.

I fall happily, but tired in his lap, laughing at his loss of the game.

"You're family's really interesting" he smiles.

"If you like messed up then yeah"

"They're not that bad"

"Yeah? well let's summarize. My dad's a abusive workaholic having an affair Ruth his secretary. My mums a heroine addict sleeping with Tim, the postman. Kyle died from being beaten up too much in the streets. Mary's a seventeen year old slut whilst dani has no filter and no heart. Melissa has severe depression and suicidal tendencies."

"You missed the most important one: you" he smiles

"The slut taking all pain out in sex" I swig alcohol. We weren't drunk just tipsy.

"What pain?"

"Family shit. Justin and Caroline. The usual"

"Justin and Caroline"

"Yeah. Pass on talking about that."

He nods "how long since your last real relationship?"

"Define relationship"

"More than six months"

"Never" I giggle.

He carries my tired body onto the bed. "Wanna try it?"

"Benny" I giggle "I'm head over heels for you."

He lightly kisses my lips and wraps his arms around me so we're cuddling.

"I love you" I mumble before drifting to sleep