A Sky Full of Blue

Chapter 19: Maroon is the Color of the Sweatshirt

"Though I don't understand the meaning of love, I do not mind if I die trying." ~Maroon 5, "How"

"I have a boyfriend." My brother spits out his water, coughing hard. Water drips from his nose as he tries to regain his composure.

"What did you do on that date?" I can feel my face go red. I look down to Toby's comforter.

"We just watched a movie. That is all." Toby lifts my chin, grinning. I cannot tell if he's being genuine or not.

I shift on his bed, worried that we're going to be late for school. I'm only halfway done with my morning routine, and I want to keep the memories from my first date in the forefront of my mind. It'll help if I have any mental breakdowns today.

"We can make it to school in time. Relax." I still shift on the comforter, my fingers twisting and turning in the sheets. I try not to meet Toby's eyes.

"It's my job to keep you safe. That means that I have to give Theo a hard time." I give him my full attention.

"I can watch out for myself." Something in the back of my mind tells me to stop talking, but I feel like I can do this.

"I know you can Hazel. It's just-" Toby sighs, running a hand over the back of his neck. His hands are moving with expression.

"What if you have an episode when you're with Theo? What if I'm not there to help you?" I try not to raise my voice.

"Can't Theo help me? Couldn't you teach him?" Toby's eyes widen.

"I would never do that, Hazel. I know he likes you, but it's a lot to learn. There are a lot of things that you don't like." I throw my hands up, tears building in the back of my throat.

"If he wants to date me shouldn't he want to know everything about me?" I try to stuff the tears back where they came from. It is very hard.

"I know you're frustrated right now, but you have to think about what is best for him and what is best for you."

"So you're saying that I shouldn't date him?"

"I'm not saying that. I'm saying that you may get your heart broken and I don't like seeing you sad." I blow a piece of hair away from my face. I fold my arms across my chest.

"Isn't it my mistake to make? Shouldn't I have a choice in what I want to do with my life?" Toby's face softens and he gives me a brief glimpse of his marigold smile before he hugs me.

"You do what feels right. Just be careful."

We make it to school in record time, the bell ringing as we get out of the Jeep. I have to say, I wouldn't mind missing that jarringly loud bell. I press the palm of my hand to one side of my face so that the sound is dulled.

I make it to the art room just as the late bell rings and Nelson whistles low under his breath. He continues with his project, adding a few finishing touches before letting it dry. I notice that Nita still isn't here.

"Where's your sister?" I point to the empty seat, raising a brow. Nelson doesn't keep his gaze forward, looking down at his hands. They shake before he puts them in his pockets.

"She had to go somewhere for a little bit. Get things sorted."

"She was into drugs?" I blurt, and instantly regret it. I go to say sorry but Nelson beats me to it with a laugh. It doesn't sound right. It's too dark and lifeless.

"No," he says quietly, this time locking eyes with me. I can see tears in those dark eyes, and I wonder what Nita would put herself through to get her brother so worked up.