A Sky Full of Blue

Chapter 29: Bumblebee is the Color of the Sun

"I wish I could explain your eyes, and how the sound of your voice gives me butterflies. How your smile makes my heart skip a beat and how every time I'm with you, I feel so complete." ~Saurav Kumar

*Listen to "Love is Strange" by Mickey and Sylvia*

Toby's POV

I watch Theo and Hazel in the snow, wondering how Hazel's life could change so drastically in a matter of months, of weeks. I start to wonder if she needs me anymore.

The snow starts to fall harder, and I realize that I've missed this. I've always liked the cold better than the warmth, and I want to go outside and sit in the snow. I need to think about some things.

I grab a coat, a hat, and some gloves, not even bothering with the snowpants. I won't even be outside for that long; I just need a little of reality to set me straight. I'm tired of pretending that I'm some outgoing, overzealous jock who spends too much time on grades and sports.

I pass Hazel on my way, with Theo nowhere in sight. I look around, but he is nowhere to be found. I silently question him and his motives, but I promised both myself and the doctor that I would try to be more understanding. I will get along with him if it's the last thing I do; anything to see a genuine smile from my sister.

It seems lately that she's only handing those out to Theo, and I feel a twinge of jealousy towards him. She's getting him to understand her more, and now he's the main focal point in her life.

Hazel picks up a ball of snow and throws it at me. It hits me square in the chest, and I can hear her quiet laughter from the other side of the towering snowman beside her. She hides behind it, as if I'm going to throw one back at her. I don't.

Instead, I walk over to her and engulf her in a hug, feeling both of our body heat. My little sister, too good for this world, or any other, for that matter.

She frowns, but I don't think she knows it. I set her down and watch as she stares at me, trying to put the puzzle pieces together. I don't like the way she's looking at me, as if she knows what's going on. I never go to anyone about my problems, and I'm not going to start today.

She gives me a genuine smile, the first one she's given me in a while. Her cheeks are bright with the cold and she sniffles, feeling the weather.

"Just remember Toby, bumblebee is the color of the sun." I turn away from her and give a halfhearted smile over my shoulder. I know she's trying to be invested, and I'm glad. I'm just sad that she won't want to be around me anymore.

I walk to the driveway and pass Theo on my way, his face red with exertion. He's pushing a snowball bigger than himself, making his way slowly to Hazel. He's really trying, and I don't go over to help him. I don't even know if he realizes that I'm looking at him.

I tread through the snow, feeling the cold seep through my boots. My fingers and face are oddly warm as I sit in the snow, covering my body with the fine white powder.

I close my eyes, feeling the snowflakes coat my lashes. It tickles them gently, and I have to flutter them. The sun is bright against my eyelids, but I don't mind.

I can feel the warmth against my face, feel the yellow of it. I can see why people associate the color with happiness, especially my sister. After all, she gave me the marigold smile, the epitome of happiness.

I make a snow angel in the driveway, and wonder if any neighbors think that the Hudson boy, who's sitting out in the snow in next to nothing, is strange. They don't know about Hazel, I made sure of that, but they know more about me. They see when I go outside in the middle of the night to think about Nita, the girl in Hazel's art class, with the pretty dark eyes and dark hair.