HIM // wolfstar

30 when I panicked

I feel like I'm walking on a cloud.

I walked to James' place because I knew he was home. It was necessary for me to let my feelings out and tell someone. I don't remember much from the trip over there, suddenly I was just laying on James' bed and sighed happily.

"Hi, Moony" he greeted. It isn't the first time I have just walked in uninvited.

"Sirius and I are together," I told quietly and couldn't even believe my own words. We were together. He is my boyfriend. I have a boyfriend and it's Sirius. Him. My boyfriend. Sirius. Sirius is my boyfriend.

"What?" James asked distractedly. I think he was texting somebody.

I sat up on the bed and looked at him. "Sirius is my boyfriend" I couldn't stop the smile that was showing on my face. It felt so unrealistic to say out loud. At some point, I even doubted it would ever happen. But it has happened. It happened. It's happening.

"What?" this time he wasn't distracted. James was fully focused on the words I said, and I knew that. I just had to say it one more time. I would say it a million times if it was possible.

"Sirius and I are dating" I exclaimed the smile never fading.

"For real?" he checked.

"For real!" I confirmed.

James hit my arm in need of something better. "Oh whatever" he exclaimed and pulled me in for a hug. "Remus this is amazing. How did it happen? How does it feel? Did you ki-iss?" I blushed. I hadn't had the time to think much about it, it had just happened, so answering these questions might not be that easy, but whatever, I could talk about Sirius all day.

"We were watching Grease. He doesn't like scary movies or Singin In The Rain" James had a frown on his face because how can someone not like Singin In The Rain? I had wondered the same thing but had decided not to ask him because it doesn't matter. "We were sitting super close. His leg was touching mine, and we accidentally brushed hands when we got popcorn."

"Accidently huh?" he teased.

I blushed again. "Okay maybe not so accidental, but it was amazing because his hands are so small and cute. Anyways, towards the end, we were sitting really close, and then we kissed. It was so amazing. He didn't want to be together though because he was afraid I was gonna hurt him like Dennis" James nodded understanding. I had told both him and Peter about Dennis. "But I convinced him that I wouldn't hurt him for a thing in the world, we cuddled a bit and at last he agreed to be together" the smile had found its way back on my face.

"I'm gonna call Peter, we have to celebrate this!"

...

Sirius looked more nervous than he had in a long time. I had expected the opposite. Now that we are together there shouldn't be any secrets between us. Neither of us should be uncomfortable or nervous. He didn't start talking before Angeline had left and I sat on the bed opposite him.

"W-We are together, right?" Sirius did that cute thing where he drew circles on his hand. "It's not just something I imagined? Or misunderstood, right?" he made a nervous laugh.

I reached for his hand. Sirius didn't flinch or pull it back, he actually gave me his other hand as well. I was holding both his hands in both my hands oh my god. "It's real if you want it to be," I told calmly even though my insides were everything but calm.

Sirius smiled with sound. "I want it to be" he confirmed. I was about to lean in for a kiss when he interrupted me. "But the other thing? W-We will still stop if it doesn't work out, right? You won't leave me, right? We will still be friends even though we aren't together anymore?" I don't think it was supposed to hurt me -because he squeezed my hand- but it kinda did.