Sidecar: Dating/Sex Inquiries

Theme 1: Relationships: Easy To Enter, Hard To Escape

We've heard the story many times: he leaves her, heartbroken and empty, speechless while he simply moves onto his next victim. Or she leaves him hopeless, ego-shattered while she goes off to indulge in her sexual fantasies with a young future rock star. And they're criticized for it.

Then there's the other story of him going behind her back, renting a motel room where he would have secret rendez-vous with the other woman. Or her bringing up a fictional girls' night out so she could (potentially) go to a nearby restaurant with the other man without having to constantly check her phone for calls and texts from her boyfriend or husband.

Is there any peaceful, non-damaging manner to leave a relationship?

If a girl is to breakup with her man and he asks why, as he most likely will, is it better to tell the truth - that her feelings are fading and she's infatuated with another man/woman? Or would it be less hurtful to leave out the details and simply tell them just half the story - or the typical "it's me, not you"? Is leaving out certain details considered lying if it's done to minimize the potential damage that is the aftermath?

It's because of these bothersome unanswered questions that endlessly float around the world of dating and sex that people end up cheating. Their lust and desire don't wait for their decisions.

Does that mean we simply need to be faster, wiser decision-makers in order to avoid becoming cheaters?

And what exactly should be the determining factors of leaving our lover?
There seems to be no single, simple answer.

I guess we mustn't depend on any guidebooks (ironic) or opinions but depend only on our own wisdom and hearts.

But wisdom is a virtue and the whole point of being virtuous is to be righteous, is it not? And to be righteous means what? To avoid hurting others? To be honest? What do we do if we cannot have it both ways? Do we just play eenie-meenie-minie-moe to decide?

What is/are the ideal manner/s) to leave a relationship?