The Breaking The Healing

Jealousy.

He wouldn't call me or message me for days and I was cool with it I wanted him to study and focus on himself and what he had planned for his future, I really care about his future so much because I want him to be happy in what he chooses and his life.
On Thursday he called me asking if I wanna go out with him and his friends, I kinda didn't wanted to I didn't feel good about this going out this time but also didn't care I just wanted to be with him. I told dad I am going to sleep over at my friends house so I can stay all night out with him.
He came to pick me up, I got in and honestly didn't feel comfortable with his friend. So I was silent even tho I was acting cool. Then his friend called the other guy who's supposed to come, and he would keep saying all the time telling him to bring girls, not once or twice.. 3 times. I stayed silent and felt so damn disrespected. 15 minutes later, he was like I will get 3 girls from the street within five minutes so his friend was like deal and he looked at me and was like deal? I said no? and he was like okay. Then his friend left to get his other friend and we both were in the car, he was like what's wrong with you, i told him i felt so damn disrespected. And he was like that's how always me and my friends joke you said no and the topic died i can't force you, i told him he doesn't even have the right to force me and he went insanely mad at me for saying that. He told his friend he's gonna get me home because he's so mad at me.
He said I am the one who choose to go home now or stay till the morning with him, he was shouting at me saying no girl ever does that to him not even his own mother and he's not gonna ever forget this, I was crying and I said okay all good. He dropped me off at my friends house.

I felt;
1. Disrespected.
2. Low.
3. Compared to street girls.
4. Not enough.
5. Embarrassed.
6. Insane.

3 days and he didn't even call me to apologize for the way he made me feel. And I was doing nothing but overthinking being upset and sad and he wasn't giving a single fuck about me. I felt fed up as fuck. I texted him saying;
" please don't come back in my life again forget that i ever even existed for you even if it sounds dramatic and something you don't care about because i am done getting hurt over you as much as i tried it was pointless and you did everything to hurt me so that's all i am asking you for i wish you the absolute greatest always."
he messaged me the next day saying;
"Sorry but I'm not a type of personality who forget all the years that we been through together! Whenever you gonna make up your mind I'm always here . Literally I never expect to receive this message from you . Plus if you think that I was trying to hurt then the answer is absolutely " NO " I never meant to hurt you in anyhow ."
I felt happy that he fought for me and didn't agree on that. Then I messaged him and we talked and his excuse for this disrespect that he was drunk and my usual I did let it slip away. He was like if we have any issue with each other we should come and say it to each other instead of overthinking.
I agreed.