Kyber Heart - Poe Dameron

Chapter 36

Sitting and waiting for someone else to resolve a situation of life and death, especially when he knew he could do something about it, was not one of Poe's numerous strengths.

That was partly why he was drawn to piloting. It made everything simpler. Behind the controls of an X-Wing, he knew who he could trust and who he could not. He knew who was on his side.

In that moment, he was not so sure. He was still getting radio-silence from Finn and Rose, and since the evacuation of the Anodyne, Nova had started avoiding him.

In turn, he was avoiding Holdo and the bridge like the Blue Shadow Virus. Losing his temper with the Vice Admiral would not be the smartest move.

He used the time to check on his fellow pilots, all feeling as displaced as he was. Without hope, and with a leader who would not give them any.

Eventually, he found his way back to Leia's quarters, finding only C-3PO in attendance of the General.

"How is she, Threepio?" he asked quietly. He felt an overwhelming need to tread lightly, to not attempt anything too familiar. For years, he had felt like Leia was a maternal figure to him, and without her, his place in the Resistance felt strange.

She had been the one to give him a new purpose. Pulling him from the New Republic Starfighter Corps when they refused to take action against the First Order.

He felt like he was back where he had started. Under leadership who refused his concerns.

"Her signs are steady, Captain Dameron," the protocol droid informed. "But I'm afraid there has not been much change. I am not programmed as a medical droid, but..."

Poe's mind drifted as C-3PO started to rattle off information he did not require in what he assumed the droid thought to be a helpful manner. Instead, he found his thoughts dwelling on Nova, and her strange absence from her mother's side. BB-6 was gone too, presumably accompanying their mistress on whatever she was up to.

Her cold and distant demeanour had Poe on edge. Now more than ever, her behaviour was unpredictable. He hated to admit it, but that made her a potential threat to the Resistance, and to herself.

"Do you know where Nova is?"

"Oh." C-3PO's ramblings came to an end. "Captain Organa came by earlier, but she and Beebee-Six did not stay long."

Poe frowned, barely sure why of everyone on the Raddus, he was asking C-3PO for insight. "How did she seem to you?"

"Troubled, Captain. Though under the circumstances with Captain Solo and the General, that is to be expected."

He hummed an affirmation to himself.

"I know it is not my place to say," the droid continued, "but might you have a little more faith in Admiral Holdo? The Princess certainly did."

"I'll take it under advisement," Poe said.

He knew the General's trust was not something earned lightly. But even she could make mistakes. And with the loses they were taking; he was inclined to believe Holdo was one of those rare instances.

---

Nova took her time on her journey to the Raddus' bridge.

She was still considering Holdo's words, weighing them up in her mind. Fundamentally, she was right – dying as martyrs because of some half-conceived heroic plan would do nothing to combat the First Order. And while dying for the Resistance, in a blaze of so-called glory or otherwise, did sound appealing to her in those moments, her living worked to bring light to a galaxy shrouded in darkness and fear.

And if she could do that, then maybe it was worth it. Maybe it still brought them one small step closer to beating them for good.

Until the destruction of Hosnian Prime, the galaxy had thought the Resistance to be an insane, warmongering group, overreacting to a harmless, almost quaint group of Imperial fanatics that could not possibly pose a threat. When all the time in the shadows, smaller systems had been crushed and bled dry, and senators had been paid off to stay ignorant.

Only Leia had spoken out against thousands, even as her political career crumbled around her. A somewhat perfect embodiment of what the Resistance was. One voice standing its ground against one hundred in any way it could. Even when no hope could be seen clearly.

Now, if they wanted to bring hope to those in need, to those who could help them, they needed to accept a defeat and cut their losses.

Nova could not deny the feeling of guilt resting in her gut. She had wanted to talk to Poe before going for the bridge, but it would take too long. He was being intransigent, and would blow it out of proportion, ending in disaster one way or another.

BB-6 whirred nervously by her ankles.

"Yeah, I think so, Bee," she answered quietly, coming up on the open door to the bridge.

She headed straight for Holdo, who turned to anticipate her approach. Nova supposed she had been waiting for her in some capacity since the Anodyne's evacuation.

"Captain. I didn't expect to see you here." She sounded pleasantly surprised. "Where's Captain Dameron?"

"That's not for me to track," she deflected. If she could keep Poe and the Vice Admiral apart, she felt she would be doing everyone a favour.

Holdo drew herself up once more in the face of the young captain's fierce and unwavering attitude. Her tone regained its usual controlled and icy undertones. "Why are you here?"

Nova too stood tall, meeting the Vice Admiral's steely blue eyes. "Because the Resistance needs to survive. And I will do what I must to make that happen."

"And?"

"I trust my mother's judgement, even if I don't always agree with it. And I'm starting to see what you're doing. I might not like it, but it's what Leia would want at this point. There's nothing more we can do like this."

Poe's plan still lurked in the back of her mind, the odds only continuing to worsen. The fleet was running on fumes, and still no word had come through. She was trying not to think the worst, but unfortunately by that hour, it was not out of the question.

Holdo nodded. "Can I trust you, Nova?"

Nova swallowed, standing her ground. "Yes."

"Then congratulations, Commander Organa."