Happiness vs Love(Barry×Caitlin)

CHAPTER 2

Barry's POV

It's been a year since Caitlin has left and it hasn't been easy. I try my best not be distracted and fulfill my duties as a hero but it's not that simple when your best friend decides to leave and doesn't contact you in any way. I want to be strong for everyone...I want to be strong for her but I don't how much longer I can go. We're drifting apart and I don't like it one bit and what's even worse is that I can't do anything about it, Caitlin doesn't want us to come visit her, she wants to explore the world on her own. But this isn't even the worst part, I'm with the most beautiful, independent, strong, charming women in the world but I'd rather be with my lovable, nerdy, geek friend Caitlin Snow. That hurts now, saying her name but it only hurts because I feel a big part of me is missing and I feel like I need it. I also probably miss Cait so much because she had been my best friend for such a long time, she has always been there for me but I can't help but feel like there us something else to our special bond, I just don't know what it is yet. Everyday and every night I think about Caitlin even when Iris is lying in my arms, memories of hugging Caitlin when we said our goodbyes comes into mind and I don't why? All of these emotions ransack my mind and I feel like I should be honest with Iris, she deserves someone better, someone who can commit to her, think about her and only her, someone who wants to be with her at all times, someone who wants to wake up next to her in the morning...I'm not that guy anymore.
This is how I told the truth...

Iris: Hey Barry, is it okay if I come into STAR LABS a bit later today, I wanna finish writing this article.

Barry: Yeah sure, it's okay. Not much had been going on lately anyway.

Iris: (think about Caitlin) Are you sure?

Barry: Yes I'm sure, the cops can do some work of their own already (half smiles)

Iris: That's not what I'm referring to.

Barry: (slightly confused) What are you referring to?

Iris: You

Barry: It stays the same, nothing much has been happening.

Iris: Ever some Caitlin left you've changed and not in a good way. It's been a year Barry, thought by now you would have been your old self again.

Barry: (stiffens at the name Caitlin) Look Iris, ever since she left, everyone's changed! And yeah I've probably been acting differently but do you expect me to act normal knowing my best friend wants nothing to do with me!?

Iris: Of course not! But it's like a piece of you is gone.  That bond that you and Caitlin have is disappearing and I can see it. So please be honest with me right now, how do you feel? Well more accurately how do you feel about her?

Barry: (looks away)

Iris: Barry!

Barry: I FEEL ALONE OKAY! You're right, a piece of me is gone because she was a part of me and now she's gone (tears fill his eyes) And no matter how hard I try to forget about her, I fail every single time (crying)

Iris: (walks toward him) It's okay Barry.

Barry: No Iris!(moves back) I haven't been fair to you either. I'm so lucky to have had you. You're one of the most amazing people I know and you deserve to be with someone who wants you just as bad, but I'm sorry I'm just not that person for you anymore.

Iris: (breathes in deeply) I know Barry and I understand, but you need to tell Caitlin the way you feel.

Barry: Are you crazy!? I can't do that!

Iris: (smiles) Barry you don't have to feel bad, it's okay if she makes you more happy than I do.

Barry: You make me happy as well, I still love you as my best friend. And besides I can't just go up to her after a year and tell her now I feel, and I'm definitely not going to get in her way of what she wants.

Iris: And what does she want exactly?

Barry: Finish college, experience the world on her own and do other teenager stuff.

Iris: I think before it's too late, you should speak to her, before you loose her forever and maybe even as a friend.

Barry: What would I tell her anyway? 'Oh Caitlin you make me feel so whole!'

Iris: That anndd that you love her...

Barry: What!? Okay I don't love her, maybe like her but love is taking it too far.

Iris: Barry I know you have trouble dealing with these type of emotions but just accept it already, you love her.

Barry: I don't! Just leave it okay!

Iris: You guys have a bond that can never be replaced by anyone else, it's meant to be. And you know why... because you love her! And I think she is worth fighting for. Don't you?

Barry: Okay fine! YES I love Caitlin! But if I tell her and she rejects me our whole friendship could be ruined and I can't loose her Iris. My heart won't be able to take that damage.

Iris: You're already loosing her Barry, it's now or never.

Barry: Iris please just respect my decision, she's probably very happy studying at university. Right now her happiness is way more important than mine, so forget about it...

Iris: Well, I just hope you know what you're doing.

Barry: Yeah me too...