Esteem

Chapter 12

ASHTON

I almost laugh at the sight, when I see Claire and Jeremy. He is practically hanging on her, and she couldn't seem less interested. It is odd, the way I can read her so well. She is over it, over him. She just doesn't know what to do about it.

I am under no premise that if Claire ended things with Jeremy, she would be with me. That won't be happening, no matter the situation. Still, it gets under my skin knowing that she is unhappy. And having seen the way he treats her, she should be.

"Ashton?" The timid voice sounds from behind me. I whirl around to see Claire standing in my dressing room doorway. What do I do now? I should have prepared myself for this, but I did not.

I clear my throat, turning away from her and attempting to sound nonchalant. "Yeah?"

"Can I talk to you?" She sounds terrified. Of me? What does she think I will do? I am not him.

"Maybe we shouldn't," I say as I turn back to her.

"What?"

"Let's just not talk about it," I say. "Write it off as a mistake and move on." Am I imagining the hurt expression on her face?

"Oh," she says. "Yeah, okay."

"Good to see Jeremy," I say sarcastically. I don't mean to tempt her into this conversation, but the words are out before I can stop them.

"I don't see why you would have a problem with that," she snaps. "Seeing as we're just writing it off as a mistake and moving on."

"Oh, I don't," I buy right into her argument. I don't know why, anything to feel something. Especially something involving her. "If you want to date a complete ass, go ahead. I'm not stopping you."

"You don't know him," she says in a challenging tone.

"Yeah? Well it doesn't seem like you do, either."

"I- you- God!" She nearly screams in frustration. "Whatever, Ashton. You know, I thought maybe we could be friends, but feel free to go back to ignoring me. I liked you better that way, anyway." She throws me an angry glare before exiting the room.

I almost laugh, her anger is pathetic in an adorable way, like a kitten. I don't feel her insults now, but I probably will later. I sigh. Pain is always delayed for me. I regret letting myself get close enough to Claire Kennedy to let her hurt me.

CLAIRE

I am surprised by my anger at Ashton. I cannot deny the depth of my feelings for him, he brings me so much emotion all at once and I can't sort through it. I shouldn't even try.

Tonight's show goes even better than last night's, even in the tense moment backstage where Jeremy bumps into Ashton. I saw it from across the room, but nothing happened. I don't care, I remind myself. It doesn't matter.

At this moment, neither of them are really in my good books.

"Let's go back to the hotel, baby," Jeremy slurs as his arm hooks around my waist. He smells strongly of alcohol and I wonder where he even got it from.

"Fine," I sigh.

"Don't be like that, babe," his teeth graze my ear and I literally shove him off of me.

"You're drunk," I say harshly. I should have known that his words this morning were meaningless, his apologies hold nothing these days.

"Yeah, and you should be too," he laughs. He pulls me to his side again and I can't wriggle out of his steel grip. I just give in and let him lead me out to the car. We are some of the last people to leave the arena, there are not even any fans out here anymore. It is later than I thought.