Empty.

Chapter 17- Lunches & Love Stories

Mia's POV

The bell rang and it was officially lunch time, I rushed to our usual spot because I wanted to see how Penelope was doing. I sighed when I saw Penelope and Yoko engaging in what looked like a normal conversation.
"Hey", I managed to say. I couldn't even possibly imagine how Penelope must have felt and I didn't want to even think about that idiot Adam.
Penelope stood up and embraced me tightly.
"I think we're going to be alright", she whispered in my ear.
"I love you", I said breaking away from the hug, " I love the both of you", I smiled at them assuringly.
"What about me? Do you love me?"
I turned to see Trent.
"Go away you Liam Payne wannabe", Penelope spat.
"Liam Payne wannabe?Nice one",he laughed, it was a sound I knew all too well, a sound I liked hearing again.
I noticed Sarah approaching us with a smile.
"Guys, be nice this is Trent, he's a close friend's brother", Sarah announced.
"Oh we know who he is", Yoko clarified.
" Yeah, he's the biggest douche bag in Oregon ", Penelope smiled.
"So much hate", Sarah laughed.
I stood there not knowing how to and not even wanting to react.
"It's all good Sarah, I'ma go sit with the guys anyway, later Mia", he said giving me a smile as he left.
The smile that he would always give me, the one that made girls fall in love with him.
"Mia! L'amour est dans l'air", Sarah sang.
" Was that French? ", Penelope questioned.
" Love is in the air", Yoko translated.
"Actually oxygen, nitrogen and carbon dioxide are in the air",Jamie intervened.
" Jamie", Penelope piped.
Jamie smiled and then eyed me.
"I'll be back in a bit", I said to them and Jamie and I retreated, we went outside.
It was just us, it was nice.
" You okay? "
"I think so. "
"I know this is not the time for all of this but I was planning this, and Adam had to get in the way of it", Jamie rambled.
" What are you talking about? ", I laughed.
" I'm not really sure how to do this, I never worried about this sort of stuff before..."

"I am extremely confused here", I rolled my eyes at him.

"What I'm trying to say, Mia is that you make me..
You make me feel happy and I haven't felt happy in a long time. I need happiness, I need you."

I couldn't tell Jamie how amazing he was, how he just came into my life, and everything changed, absolutely everything.
I couldn't tell him anything because I never thought that I could feel that way ever again, and I wasn't even sure I felt that way before.
I know I thought I did, but Jamie made me start to question everything I felt.

How was it even a possibility that I could even think about being in love with him so soon.
It was all so dream like.
As if I was in some sort of haze, like I was intoxicated by the way he moved.

Just standing in front of him I didn't feel like ordinary Mia, with him I felt like the person I wanted to be. The part of me that I hid from the world.

Looking into his eyes, I knew he had no idea how scared I was, I was so scared to let him in.Scared of all the promises he was going to make and then break, things that I know were never going to happen.

As much as I wanted Jamie to embrace me and engulf me with his warmth and love.
I already thought about the day that he was going to take it all away.
He was going to take all his love away from me and I would be left there standing abandoned, hurt,and hopeless.

I sighed the greatest sigh ever as I closed my eyes.

" I can't do this. "

I didn't want to look at him because looking at him made me so happy.
"Mia... ", he began but I couldn't listen because I was going to breakdown, Jamie had become my weakness and I didn't how to face it, to face him.
I walked away, I rushed back into the cafeteria and let the chattering of the students drown out Jamie's calls to me.