Empty.

51 - Dead Batteries & Date Do Overs

They say the one of the best ways to stop an anxiety or panic attack is to bite into a lemon. I know, weird right? When you experience an attack it's basically all in your head and when you bite into a lemon, the sourness and acidity gives you something else to focus on so you can forget that you're actually having an attack.

I used to have a lot of attacks after my father died. My mom was really dramatic about it and took me to get medication for it. I took my medication everyday until my attacks stopped last December which means I struggled with attacks for about three months. Since the start of the school year I stopped taking my medication. I thought I could manage without it. I did manage without it. I managed without it until my panic attack last night. There was just too much going on and Penelope taking a swing at me certainly didn't make things easier.

I sat up on my bed and rubbed my sleepy eyes. My head was sore and my stomach made a noise to let me know I was hungry.

"Morning baby",my mothers voice was sweet as she entered my room.

"Morning you",I smiled and it turned into a yawn.

"How are you feeling hermosa?", my mother sat on the bed.

"I'm okay mom,just a little hungry."

"Listen honey, last night you really had me scared. I know you have a lot on your mind and not being able to watch the fireworks with your dad must have been really hard for you. Darling you still have to take your pills , they help",she placed her hand on my hand and looked straight into my eyes.

"I do take my pills mom",I lied. "Yesterday was just a little bit hard, it's been almost six months without him and sometimes when things aren't going right I wish he was here to make it right",I shrugged looking down at my lap.

"Hermosa baby, things may not always go your way but remember that your dad is always watching over you and I'm here as well. You can talk to me about anything honey",she said embracing me.

"I know mom, that helps. I'll be fine I promise",I smiled as I broke away from her hug.

"Good, I'll make some breakfast, oh and Sarah called.I told her you would call her back when you wake up. She was worried about you",she said standing up.

"Okay mom, I'll call her now",I smiled. "Hey mom",I said and she turned around. I looked at her standing in the doorway of my bedroom.

"Thank you",I said and she smiled before exiting. Leaving me feeling around my sheets in search of my cell phone. When I found it, I pulled it out from underneath my pillow to find the battery was low. I managed to go to the messaging app and send Sarah a quick text.

Mia : Hey, I'm really sorry about last night, I wasn't feeling too well. I hope you had fun,and I promise I will make it up to you. xx

I locked my phone but was startled by my ringtone going off. Sarah was calling me.

"Hi."

"Mia!Are you okay?I was so worried about you. Thank God your mom spoke to me. How are you feeling?",she was ranting.

"Hey, I am so sorry. I just started feeling a bit sick but I'm okay now. How were the fireworks?"

"I was worried",she sighed."We missed you."

"You shouldn't worry about me, I don't want you to worry about me",I assured her with a small chuckle.

"I will always worry about you,Mia", Sarah replied and her words made me smile. It made me feel important, like she cared about me. If this was the beginning of friendship,I liked it because it didn't seem like Penelope and I were friends anymore.

"Did grams enjoy herself?", I asked clearing my throat.

"She ate so much of cotton candy!I had to forbid her from eating any more",Sarah laughed and it made me laugh.

"Tell her I said she's sweet enough already."

"We missed you, Mia! It wasn't the same without you",Sarah said and I heard disappointment in her voice.

"There's always next time",I shrugged even though she couldn't see me.

"Speaking of next time...",she started and I wanted to go deaf immediately.
"Since school is on Monday,Trent and I want to go see that new horror movie and I wanted you to come with",she said in a sweet voice.

"Sarah..."

"Before you say no, remember you said you would make it up to me",Sarah interrupted me.

"Won't I just be third wheeling?"

"Never!You will have all my attention. Please come Mia,Come on we have to go to school on Monday remember",I basically felt Sarah roll her eyes.

"I'm still kinda feeling a bit..."

"Is it because you feel awkward around Trent?He said he doesn't feel awkward though. You know you can tell me right?"

"No,no it's not Trent, I just hate scary movies",

It was true. Scary movies were not something I enjoyed. I liked supernatural television series but that was as far as it went. I always watched comedies with my father and romantic chick flicks with my mother. Never scary movies though.

"Problem solved,we'll watch something else",Sarah said as if she had won.

A sigh escaped my lips and I spoke in attempt to cover it up.

"What time?"

What have you done,Mia?!

"Six ,do you need a ride?",Sarah questioned me.

"No, I'll tell mom to drop me off just tell me where to meet you guys",I replied.

"Sure I'll text you, I can't wait to see you!Oh and bring a ja-",Sarah started but she was cut off by my phone shutting down.

I sighed once more, thinking about why I couldn't make a better excuse to not go. I really wasn't in the mood to go to the movies. I really wasn't in the mood for life.