On Thin Ice

06

I woke up on Monday morning to my father's voice yelling at someone over the phone. My father wasn't a strict man and I had rarely ever heard him yell, so I couldn't think of anything that would make him raise his voice.

"You gave up that right when you tossed him out like he was nothing!" I heard Dad yell, causing confusion to ripple through me.

I stood up from my bed and tossed a shirt over my head before speedily bounding down the steps. When I entered the kitchen, Josh and Mindy were sitting at the table in silence while my father was in the next room on the phone.

"What's going on?" I asked in whisper, resting my palms down on the table and taking a seat across from Josh and Mindy.

Mindy sent a skeptical look my way as if she knew the answer to my question, but didn't want to tell me.

"Elijah..." she trailed in a motherly tone. "Your father's on the phone with Susan."

Susan. My mother. Right.

I narrowed my eyes and turned toward the room where my father resided. He continued his yelling match on the phone with my mother, seeming to have forgotten there were other people in the house. Less than a second later the yelling stopped, and Dad came fuming into the kitchen. His angry and disgusted face softened as soon as he saw me.

"I'm sorry I lost my temper and you all had to hear that," Dad apologized, seeming to be ashamed by the way he acted. He looked to me for a response along with Josh and Mindy.

"Why'd she call?" I asked, my voice coming out softer than I intended.

Any discussion about my mother was still a sore spot for me. I had lived with her for seventeen years, and believed she truly loved me, yet she shunned me the second I revealed who I truly was. The mere thought of the way I lost my relationship with my mother was enough to send a sharp pang through my heart.

"Let's not talk about that right now," Dad suggested softly, sitting beside me at the table. "You have to get ready for school."

Although I was dying to know what she had to say, I nodded in agreement with my father which caused him to place a comforting hand on my shoulder. I didn't want to argue with him or force him to tell me. I knew he wanted to keep me in the dark to protect my feelings and I appreciated him for it.

No one spoke of my father's yelling for the rest of the morning. Josh and I got ready for school and met each other out in the driveway. We both got in our respective seats and Josh began driving toward school.

"You know I meant to say this to you before," Josh started, "but if you ever need to borrow the car, you can."

I was surprised at Josh's words and turned to face him with my mouth slightly agape in shock.

"But this is your car," I tried reasoning.

"It's technically Dan's and you're his son, so..." Josh trailed, looking at me briefly before turning his attention back to the road.

"Well, thanks," I replied awkwardly, scratching the back of my neck. "But I doubt I'll ever need to borrow it. I don't really have anywhere to take it."

Josh just shrugged, dropping the matter, and the two of us spent the rest of the ride to school in silence. We shared brief parting words once we made it to school, Josh walking off toward his hockey friends and me walking alone to my locker.