"I'm so sorry," Michael repeated, looking down at his bruising knuckles. "Please say something." He looked up at me, his eyes red and brows tightly knitted together.
I hadn't said a word since we'd arrived at my apartment. I went straight to my room. I didn't know what I wanted. At first I thought I wanted to be alone, but Michael followed me in. And even though I wasn't talking, I was glad he was still here. But he probably wasn't going to leave until I started talking.
It wasn't that I was scared about what happened or anything. Actually, in the end, it was sort of a good thing I guess. I got some closure. I would wonder every now and then what ever happened to Dylan and know I knew. He had the same response as I did after that night. We both turned to alcohol. Unfortunately for him, he didn't have anyone to help him withdrawl before he made more mistakes.
I just didn't feel like talking.
Sighing, I untangled my legs and crawled over to where he sat at the foot of the bed. Michael raised his eyebrows at me as I took his hand in mine and brought it to my lips. I kissed the back of his hand and then softly kissed each knuckle. "Thank you."
Michael twisted his hand out of my grasp. Before I could react, he placed it behind my head and brought our faces closer. "I told you to say something. But anything other than that."
My body knew what was coming before my mind did and my eyes fluttered closed as we both leaned in. His lips brushed softly against mine but I hardly had time to kiss back before he pulled away, a funny look on his face.
"What's wrong?" Oh no, now what?
"I'm tired of kissing someone who's not my girlfriend."
"Oh." I sat back, not really understanding what he meant, but being the realist that I am, I wasn't sure it was good. I turned my face away. My cheeks were burning with embarassment.
"What I mean, is the next time I kiss someone, I want her to be my girlfriend."
"Oh." I repeated, still not getting it.
Michael sighed and rolled his eyes at me. He reached out, pulling me onto his lap. Michael took my wrists, moving them so my arms were around his neck and my hands were in his hair. He looped one arm around my waist and placed a hand on the other side of my thigh.
"So let me kiss you."
And despite the vagueness of it all, I understood.
***
"So," I tried to speak as Michael peppered playful kisses all over my face. "Michael, stop that!"
"Fine." He pouted and hid his face in my stomach."What do you want?"
"Well, us... Are we...you know..." I gestured between us. After we started kissing, that's all we did since. Not really any talking.
"Together?" Michael smirked at my stuttering but reached out to lace his fingers with mine. "It's what you want right?"
It was. More than anything. But I was terrified things could go wrong and ruin everything. Michael was a very important person to me, and who's to say that we'll stay together? And if we don't, I could lose him. I really couldn't even imagine not having him around.
"Lana?" Michael whispered, dropping a kiss on my stomach where my shirt had ridden up, causing fire to blossom inside.
"I-yes, it is. But Michael, I don't know how long it'll be until I break again. I don't want to hurt you."
"There's no amount of pain you could put me through that would stop me from loving you. I'm completely submerged and I'd drown before I could imagine giving you up."
