March 18, 2019

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Unspoken Words Between Us

I can't seem to wrap my mind around the fact that you were once mine. You were once the person I looked for in the crowd of people, I looked for your eyes. I looked for that smile. Your dashing smile that gave my stomach butterflies.

And now, I can hardly stand to look at you. Those butterflies are still there, but it's different. To know that we once had something.

Maybe I was just blindsided, knowing that I had someone who really cared about me, and I didn't see that we really wouldn't work out. I realize that now, as our lives have gone separate ways.

I remember a specific moment, where we sat next to each other. And there were no words, and no one who mattered really was there. You looked into my eyes, and gave me this look.

This look of complete adoration. I thought I was living in a fairytale. No words were said, you just looked. And with that look, there were so many words.

I shake my head now at the thought, knowing that it won't happen again. Not with you at least.

Sometimes I get angry at you, for hurting me. For leading me to believe that we could be those people. That we could be the main characters in my fairytale, and live happily ever after.

But every time I see you, I just remember those feelings. And I can't help but remember the pain you caused me. People may ask me why I'm lead to believe such things, and it was only for a short while. But what they didn't know is that our story started long before we dated.

There's been tension, and there are unspoken words.  That I can't help but just imagine in my head, to know what would happen if I voiced them. But that's just another one of my fantasies.

We can have small talk, and we can see each other and smile. But I won't forget what you did. Leading me to believe that we had something.

It's something I need to let go of. For the most part, your words are just distant memories. And your smile is just another one I pass by. Yes, I still remember. But there are so many things between you and I that remain unsaid, and will henceforth be unsaid. Because they're irrelevant. And so are you.

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