Given Up

Chapter 6

The glorious weather continued. September the last few years had yielded high temperatures and dry days by British standards. Cassie and I sat by the tree as we had done all week - her sharing her lunch and I providing the tunes.

If she didn't like the music choice, she never mentioned it. Not that we were doing much talking still: more than one word answers but nothing too personal. It was on a level that I wanted.

I could tell something was different as she strode towards me today. Her gait seemed off and when I looked up at her she didn't smile.  She sat down with an audible huff, pulled her lunchbox out of her bag and popped the lid off with force.

I wasn't sure what to do. I hadn't seen her anything other than fairly perky.

She thrust the sandwich box towards me and I took one out slowly in case she snapped my fingers shut with the lid.

"Thanks." I said softly, offering her my earphone as I usually did, but she shook her head and stuck her fork into the salad viciously.

We ate for a moment.

"So....what's up?" I asked.

Her eyes flicked to me. She assessed me for a moment.

"Nothing. Don't worry. I know our deal is companionable silence."

I took my other earphone out.

"It's ok. Tell me what's wrong."

She flung the lunchbox down to the side, the fork bouncing out onto the grass.

"Why are people so, so mean?!" She grabbed a tuft of grass and pulled it out. "I went to my first dance class yesterday. The whole reason we moved here is so I could go there -so I could train to be a dancer at the highest level. After the first class, these two girls come up to me and basically insinuate that the instructor won't want to keep me on unless I drop some weight."

I raised my eyebrows at her. There was no weight to drop and I wasn't surprised now that she said she was a dancer as I had noticed her toned limbs poking out form her school uniform before now. Not that I was looking....

"I mean, really? I don't know if it is true or if they are threatened by me or something. And then I come to school and here they are - I hadn't realised they went here - but there they were in the hall just now -talking amongst themselves and laughing while looking over at me and arghhhh I hate all that shit."

She took in a large gulp of air as she finished her diatribe in what seemed like one breath.  She looked at me then and her cheeks coloured.

"Sorry...."

"Don't apologise. A week's worth of semi-silence earns you at least one rant." I smiled slyly at her and she returned it. "Who are these girls?"

"They are called Ciara and Lauren."

I knew them well - usually spreading rumours about people and generally being bullies.

"Ahh, I wouldn't take it personally then. They are shit stirrers at school as well."

She sighed then: wrinkles forming on her brow.

"You are right, I am trying not to....what they said, it just hit a nerve. My whole family has made sacrifices so I can go to that dance school and if I don't get kept on then, then it will have all been for nothing."

The pressure sounded intense.

"So what kind of dance is it?"

"All sorts but my speciality is Contemporary." I nodded along like I knew what that meant. "I'm hoping to spend a year here and then apply for a scholarship for one of the top dance schools to do my A Levels. But I need to do well at this dance school and hopefully get a good part in the performances because the scouts come and watch..."