Given Up

Chapter 12

I filled the sink up with water, grabbed a handful and swilled my face. I rubbed the hand towel over my face. Nope, I was still definitely drunk. 

The dance-off had been fun and Cassie and I won, in no part due to me. She was amazing: how she followed the steps and caught the rhythm of each song, even though, from the little I knew about it, it was not her specialist area of dance.  I loved watching her relax with everyone and it had been nice to hear her laugh properly.  It had definitely been worth it coming here. It was good to be around my friends and just dick about like we used to. It felt normal. I could do with some normal right now.

I opened the door and headed down the stairs into the party. Music played and some people were bopping around. Jax was laying on the sofa surreptitiously watching Maddie as she laughed with her friends as she moved.

I slumped down next to him.

"Ky-Ky." He boomed practically in my ear. His grin almost split his face: his cheeks a rosy red.  He threw his arm around me and I bowed under the weight a little.  "I'm, like, well happy that you came."

"Me too.  Thanks for keeping asking."

"Always."  He coughed. "Look, I know we don't talk about heavy stuff. But we can. I can't believe what happened..."

I sat up a bit straighter.

"Let's not...not right now."

"Yeah ok."  He pushed his hair out of his eyes and I could see the emotion behind them. "Just don't disappear again, yeah? I fucking love you man, you know that right?"

I smiled. He was always an emotional drunk. "Love you too Jax."

He smiled even wider and squeezed my shoulder before looking back out into the party.

"Speaking of love..." I watched as Maddie gave him a little wave, which he returned. "What do you think of her?"

"She seems really nice."

"I think the word you are looking for is 'gorgeous'."

"Well that too." I grinned at him.

"Beer?" He reached down to his plastic bag that had rapidly emptied.

"Nah mate, I am buzzed enough right now and I gotta walk Cassie home in a bit for her curfew."

"So....." He raised an eyebrow at me.

'So....?"

"You seeing her?"  His eyes glinted.

"I see her every day at school...."

"You know what I mean KC." He popped open his can and took a tug from it.

I did really like her. She was kind and funny: I liked her dedication to pursuing her dream. She reminded me of how I had been, until recently.

"No, we aren't seeing each other, not like that."

Jax kissed his teeth.

"She is hot and nice." He waved his can at me. "If you don't ask her out soon, someone else will..."

The thought sent a frown to my brow. I didn't want to think of Cassie spending time up close with someone else. I realised that I needed to be around her right now. When I was with her, it was easier to feel lighter: easier to not get pulled down into my darker emotions.

"Where is she anyhow?" I looked around the room and couldn't see her.

"She went to get a drink I think - oof," he exhaled as Maddie fell into his lap.