《 What if we run away? 》

↠ chapter thirteen

Hansol's eyes meet mine and he forms a slight smile around his mouth. His stare is piercing right through my soul and my heart feels like bursting any second. 
It has been nearly a year since I last saw Hansol all that time ago. To be honest, I even got over him due to a lot of work and other private stuff. I could distract myself pretty easily. Nevertheless, I never stopped thinking about him. Thoughts about him kept coming to my mind every other day and I was always wondering if he's alright and healthy. Although I moved on from him, seeing him again after such a long time threw me completely out of reality. He looks so differently. He has another hairstyle and hair color, and did he got a bit taller as well? He really matured so much.. I think he gets more handsome the older he gets. I smirk. This is absolutely crazy.. All these momories of him came back into my mind. All these months I haven't seen him, I actually thought I was dreaming all along - that all of what happened between us wasn't real. It just couldn't be real. I mean, how on earth would an Idol date an ordinary girl from a whole different country that just came to South Korea for a year, in order to find herself in this big world? I was always waiting to finally wake up from this dream. It was too good to be true.

"Y/N, aren't those the guys from Seventeen?!" asks Evelyn with observing eyes.

"Yup.." I say, trying to avoid to look at them.

"Oh wow, I haven't seen them in such a long time. Let's greet them and ask if they want to come sit next to us!" suggests Evelyn.

I shake my head, "No, I think we shouldn't bother them right now."

"Oh.. okay. I understand" replies Evelyn, looking at me confused.

It has been 12 months since I last saw them; since I last saw Hansol.. I tried to avoid everything about Seventeen, because I didn't wanted to be remembered of the time and the fact that I can never seriously be with Hansol. Moreover, I didn't want him to get in trouble with his management.. It was simply too much to bear. I wanted to forget everything in order to move on. Being with him was bad because he told me early on that he wasn't allowed to date, and everytime we had to break up, everytime I saw him turn his back to leave, that's all I could think about; and I was getting sick of it. The more I thought about it, the more my emotions started to get mixed up inside my chest.

- - -

*the next day*

Yesterday, I got home right after dinner with Evelyn. I couldn't fall asleep last night due to seeing Hansol after such a long time again. I was overthinking awfully that night. 

Today my colleagues at work invited me to a barbecue dinner at the Hangang river, to which I'm getting ready right now. I put on some comfortable clothes, a bucket hat and throw on a fanny pack. Simon and Melody pick me up from my apartment at 4pm and we drive to the Hangang river together, because my apartment is on their way to the river. 
As we arrive, our colleagues are already preparing the barbecue. Today is such a sunny day and while the elder ones prepare the dinner, I decide to grab my phone and headphones, sit down on a bench near the river and listen to music for a while. I only put one headphone into my ear in order to hear if the food is ready. The sun is shining right onto my face, I close my eyes and enjoy the early spring days and the warm feeling on my skin. 

"Hey" says a voice behind me.

I pull out the headphone and turn my head to the direction I heard the voice from. It's unmistakably Hansol's face I'm looking at right now.

"Oh, h-hey" I stutter.

"My parents said I should come to this barbecue dinner since I haven't seen them in some weeks due to our busy schedule these days and I'm free the next few days anyways" he says.

"I see. That's a nice opportunity to spend some time with them" I smile.

"Yeah, most definitely!" he replies and hands me a bottle of coke. "Want some?"

I take it and hand him over one of my headphones and ask if he wants to listen together with me. He grabs it and puts it in his left ear and sits down next to me. I put the other headphone in my right ear and press play. I look over at him and see the smile on his lips as I was about to recreate one of my favorite memories of him. 
We sit there for approximately 10 minutes, not saying anything to eachother, just enjoying our company and the sun tickling our skin.

The last song just finished, he takes out the headphone and so do I. 

"Good music taste you have there" smiles Hansol.

"Thanks. I figured that you will like it" I smile back.

A short silence follows. We both seem to have a hard time to actually start a conversation since so much happened between us and all the months we haven't seen eachother. Even though we both probably have a lot to tell, it just feels awkward to hang out together again.

"Y/N.. I know it's-" starts Hansol but Melody's voice interrupts him.

"Hansol, Y/N, the barbecue is ready! Come over!" she shouts.

Hansol rolls his eyes and lets out a sigh: "Dude, why do parents always have the wrong timing", and laughs. 

We both head over and have dinner all together. For the rest of the time, Hansol and I don't really talk much either, since other people are around us and especially his parents, and it still feels awkward between us.
At 8pm we finally packed everything together and sit in the car again - Simon and Melody drive me back home to my apartment. This time with Hansol in the car as well. Their car is a big van and Hansol sits in the middle seat in the back, and I sit straight across from him, facing him directly.  We drive and drive and we both are kind of shy to talk to eachother but we keep glancing at oneanother so many times, then quickly look outside the windows again. None of us both can hold eye contact longer that one second. Then after a while, our eyes meet again and in my head I was like "Okay, don't look away this time. Just look at him a bit longer. You can do this" and so I look at him and in this very moment he does exactly the same thing - our eyes meet and we look at eachother for like five seconds. He stares right into my eyes, and all of a sudden he starts to smirk, followed by a bright smile. I can't hold it in either and return a smile. He is so handsome; beyond imagination.. It's such an awkward situation right now and my heart starts fluttering like crazy. He reaches out his hand to me. I stare at his hand, surprised at first, analyzing his big but soft and gently looking hands, when I finally put my hand in his.