Tell Me That It's All Okay / Post Malone

Chapter 13

A week had gone by since I arrived home from Europe.

I had barely left my apartment.

The only place I had any energy to go to was my job.

As soon as my shift would end, I couldn't wait to come home, escape real life and drown myself again in sadness.

I just wanted to be left alone.

I laid on my couch with a blank expression on my face staring up at the ceiling. I had been laying there for hours thinking of everything that had happened.

I wasn't crying anymore. But only because I felt like I had no tears left.

I was just empty.

What have I done?

My thoughts lingered on what Max had told me all those months ago about Austin always getting hurt.

Did I make the right decision?

I was just trying to protect myself from heartache yet here I was, more hurt than ever.

And to make matters worse, I hurt the one person that means the entire world to me.

Everytime I closed my eyes, I kept seeing the hurt in his eyes and kept hearing the pain in his voice.

I had to constantly remind myself that there wasn't any other option.

Maybe Austin wasn't used to a long distance relationship, but it was much too familiar for me. And I couldn't bring myself to go through it again.

I touched my bare neck and realized my heart shaped necklace wasn't there.

I groaned as I remembered giving it to Austin the last time he was laying in this exact spot.

My eyes shifted to the door as I heard a loud knock. I slowly got up from the comfort of my couch to open it.

I was instantly pulled into a hug from Michelle.

"I brought whiskey this time." She said as she pulled out a bottle of Jim Beam from the black plastic bag.

"So what happened Ams?" She looked at me with softened eyes. "I thought you were going to talk him about the distance? I didn't know you were thinking about ending it."

I looked up at her, not wanting to re-live every single moment of my break up but I knew I would feel better after I vented to her.

"I didn't go there with the intention of breaking of with him but it just happened. All of a sudden, I felt overwhelmed and hopeless. It felt like we were going down this never ending road. Constantly trying to find time for each other."

"And I didn't even realize how many girls are after him. I've already been cheated on and I just didn't want to deal with that again. I guess it was always in the back of my mind and I couldn't handle the stress that came with the relationship anymore."

I swallowed trying to ignore the lump in my throat and continued.

"I kept living in this fantasy, wanting to believe that we would end up together happily ever after but I'm not cut out for his lifestyle Michelle." "What was I thinking? I'm a normal ass girl and he's a famous celebrity. We live in totally different worlds." I said as I hung my head feeling defeated.

I felt the tears filling my eyes once again.

"But as much as it pained me to end it, it's for the best. I didn't have a choice."  Though I felt like I was trying to convince myself into believing my own words.

She gave me a tight hug and shoved a glass of straight bourbon in my hands.

"I'm not drinking this." I frowned at her.