Tell Me That It's All Okay / Post Malone

Chapter 12

"Austin we need to talk." I blurted out.

"Is everything okay babe?" He came over to me and took my hand in his as he sat beside me on the bed.

"I need to know what you think about us. About our relationship." I managed to say as I could feel myself shaking as I spoke.

"You're my girlfriend. I care about you Amelia, you know that." "Where is this coming from?" He asked softly.

"No I mean, about the distance. You being on tour, me living in New York."

Austin stared at me unsure what to say next.

"Well it's not an ideal situation but I wanna be with you." He said as he kissed me gently.

"I heard you and Dre talking on the phone the day you left for this tour. You said you hate it." I finally let out.

He sighed and ran his hand through his curls.

"I'm trying the best I can here. This is all new to me. The long distance. I can't be glued to my phone every second."

"I'm not asking you to be!" I exclaimed as I suddenly got defensive. "Oh and Dre told me that you have another 2 months on this tour?" "When were you going to tell me about that?"

"What do you want me to say? I try to see you every chance I get. I spend the little free time I get with you if I'm able to fly out to New York. You know things would be different if you could just come on tour with me." "And I'm sorry I was gonna tell you, I just didn't know how. I knew you'd be upset."

"Austin you know I have a job. A job that I worked my ass off for. I can't just leave and quit my entire career for a guy that I've been dating for 4 months!"

"That's all I am to you? A guy you've been dating for 4 months? Wow Amelia, I can't believe what I'm hearing." He looked at me in disbelief.

"I didn't mean it like that. I just don't know what to do! I hate being away from you and I don't know how this is going to work! Even when you aren't on the road, you live in Utah. How long are we going to keep doing this? We barely see each other. You're constantly on the go, and I'm in a position where I can't just leave my job whenever I want to." "I can't come on tour with you and the long distance is killing me! We can never have a normal relationship."

Austin pulled me closer to him and tilted my chin up as I felt tears filling my eyes.

"Hey, hey look at me. I know this isn't easy for you. It isn't easy for me either. But our relationship is worth all of the bullshit we have to deal with. Baby we are going to figure something out okay. We'll visit each other more often and I'll try to get some more time off. I don't know but we will work it out. Whatever it takes. We care about each other." He said as he kissed my hand.

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

I looked up at him as I finally let the tears fall down my cheeks.

"I don't think that's enough."

I shocked myself with the words that spilled out of my mouth. Every other part of me was screaming to shut up and just fix my relationship with the man sitting in front of me. To just stay with him and figure it out.

But I had to listen to my head instead of my heart.

Austin furrowed his brows as he gave me a concerned look. "What are you saying?" He whispered in a low tone as he held his breath.

Regardless of the raw pain and the million emotions I was feeling at that moment, I held his hand tightly in mine as I continued.

"No matter we do, I dont see how its going to work. We are both going to end up hurt the longer we stay in this relationship and you know it Austin. I wish there was another way for us to be together. But there isn't." "You deserve someone you can see, and touch, and kiss, and be with every day." "You deserve someone that can give you more than I can." I avoided his eyes.

"I don't want someone else Amelia I want you!" Austin shouted as he let go of me and moved to the other side of the bed.

We sat in dead silence.

"Austin please look at me." I finally spoke up.

He shook his head with his back still facing me.

"Austin."

"I care about you so much. But we can't do this forever. I hope you can forgive me one day. I'm sorry." I said softly.

He turned around to face me. I finally looked up into his blue eyes. And I saw nothing but pain. I saw tears in his eyes as I broke my gaze. I couldn't bear to watch him cry.

I got up and wiped my eyes with my sleeves. I grabbed my suitcase and turned to face the door.

"Amelia please don't leave me." He pleaded as he stood behind me and put his hands on my sides.

Hearing those words come out of his mouth completely broke my heart in two.

I wanted nothing but to be his girl, love him and be with him for the rest of my life. But I knew I couldn't have something that was out of my reach.

I turned around and looked up at him. I ran my fingers through his soft curls and I looked into those deep blue eyes I had fallen for. I stared at the face of the man I was so deeply in love with, taking in every last detail. I put my hands on both sides of his face, pulled him towards me and kissed his lips for one last time. I pressed my forehead again his and wiped the tears falling down his cheeks.

"Goodbye Austin."

I let go of him and opened the door. I silently sobbed as I walked to the elevator. I got inside and pushed the button to the lobby.

I turned around to see Austin still standing in the doorway of the hotel room. I watched him mumble something to himself as the elevator doors closed.

Austin POV

I watched as she walked away from me towards the elevator. As she turned around, I could still see tears falling down her beautiful face.

"I love you Amelia." I whispered.