Only You (Sequel to Good Enough)

6.

Perrie

The warm water flowed on my body as I just stood in the shower thinking about my relationship with Jade. I couldn't believe that she had cheated on me.

All I wanted was to be angry at Jade for being the one who cheated, but the only emotion I felt was that I was not good enough.

I wondered why Jade would want to have sex with another girl. I mean Leigh-Anne was gorgeous and probably was great in bed.

I banged my head lightly against the shower just wanting the idea of Leigh and Jade to get out of my head. I just wanted to be good enough for Jade. I wanted to be pretty. I wanted to be sexy, but that just wasn't me.

I was too soft and fragile to be someone Jade fantasized to be with. I wondered what I should even do about the cheating scandal.

I thought more about Jesy's words about me loving Jade and I knew that I wanted to be the one to love Jade even if she didn't love me.

It would hurt more giving her up than just staying with her. I groaned and began to cry more just thinking about the horrible situation that we were in.

I wanted to do something that I hadn't done in a long time. I thought about cutting and self harm which was something I had been clean with for so long. I started to remember how good the blade would feel as it made the cuts.

"Stop it." I hissed to myself. I wanted to be strong and not give in to my cravings. I wasn't the same weak person that I was, but I also didn't have Jade. Jade was the one who helped me through everything and now she was the person I was running from.

I turned off the water and began to dry myself off. I could hear someone through the door that sounded like Jade. I tried to ignore her as I put on a hoodie and some pants.

I put on my glasses and noticed that I the makeup that I was once wearing was smudged all over my face. I quickly removed it and groaned seeing how hideous I looked without makeup.

I opened the door and saw Jade walking away. I sighed and called out for her "Jade. Wait."

She turned around and I could see the hope in her eyes. She looked as if she had been crying as her eyes were red and puffy. "Y-Yeah?" She asked me softly.

I looked at the ground and debated if I should even tell her this. I mumbled "I still love you." With that Jade walked over to me and wrapped her arms around my body. I quickly hugged her back and began to let go of my tears that I was still holding back.

Jade was rubbing my back and whispering soothing things to calm me down. I could feel her moving us more inside the room as we were still halfway in the hallway of the hotel.

I felt her let go of me to shut the hotel room door. She looked at me and placed her hands on my cheeks trying to wipe the tears that were falling from my eyes.

"I'm so sorry." She mumbled to me as she wiped her own eyes. I snuggled and turned from her. "I-It's fine Jade." I mumbled just wanting to forget that I found out about it.

"It's not Perrie. When I gave you that ring I vowed to never hurt you and I broke that." She says while taking my hand into her own.

"I love you Jade. That's why I married you." I say to her before cupping her cheeks. "Perrie. Why are you doing this?" She asks me while pushing my hands away from her.

"Doing what?" I questioned. "Being so forgiving. I cheated on you." She says confused as to why I'm not more upset with her.

"I don't want to lose you Jade! I love you more than words can say. I-I don't care." I manage to say before crying. "You're not going to lose me." Jade says to me softly.

I shake my head and just cry more. "I'm clearly not enough Jade." I say to her. She rushes over and hugs me while wiping the tears from my eyes. "Baby. It was a drunken mistake. I wish I could go back and push her away. I only want you." I sniffle and sigh.

"Jade. Drunken actions are sober thoughts." I tell her while looking at her. I just don't know how to react right now.

"Not in this case." She tries to defend herself. I can't tell what she's feeling right now. "Perrie." She says after a solid minute without either of us speaking.

I look up at her and she sighs. "What do you want to do...?" She asks while trailing off.

I shake my head and lay back on the bed. "I don't fucking know Jade! I know I love you, but honestly I don't feel like you love me." I scream out at her.

"Perrie. I love you." She says to me. I shake my head at her and look at her. "Clearly you don't. You cheated Jade."

"Please let me show you how much I love you. I'll make this honeymoon full of dates and surprises like how it was when we were first going out." Jade says to me while sitting on the bed.

"R-Really?" I sniffle while looking at the brunette. She smiles at me and takes my hand in hers. "Of course Perrie. You're the one person that I truly love." She tells me.

I smile softly hearing her sweet words. I just hope that she isn't lying when she tells me she loves me.

"Jade." I say softly to her. "Yes?" She asks me. "Cuddle me?" I ask her. She smiles and wraps her arms around me.

I sink into her body and let her just hold me. She softly rubs my thigh and places gentle kisses all over my body.

I could lie here forever with Jade just sweetly touching me. "Perrie." She hums softly after a solid five minutes of silence.

"Y-Yeah?" I ask croakily as my voice is quite sore from the crying from earlier. "I'm so sorry for all of this. Did you still want a baby?" She apologizes.

I let my thoughts take over and think about what it would've been like to see Jade as a mother. I wanted to be a mother more than anything. I loved children so much and I knew that Jade loved children as well.

I was now learning how to forgive Jade after this. I had no idea how I would even I have a baby with her now. I had no idea what I wanted to do in the future.

"Jade. I can't worry about my wants. I have to be able to trust you again." I say to her. She sighs and traces her finger down my back.

"How can I gain your trust back?" She asks me. I shrug and turn to face her. "If you love me then you will earn it back eventually." I say to her while pecking her cheek.

"Now I'm tired of this. I'm going to sleep." I say to Jade. I roll over in the bed and begin to shut my eyes. I can feel Jade get out of the bed to turn the light off.

She turns the light off and she gets in the bed with me. I can feel her rubbing my back to help me fall asleep. I slowly begin to drift off into a dream.

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Sorry for it taking so long and for it being short!

I've been having massive writers block and just wanted to push this chapter out already as I want to start moving past their honeymoon and more into their life as being married.

Give me some suggestions that you guys would like to see (I'm open to anything as I don't really like my original plan anymore)

Love you guys and remember to vote and comment !

(Also I might be starting some new stories soon!!)

- leah xx