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jahseh
three days has passed and i can see that lucinda is growing weaker.
i cried myself to sleep last night just looking at xiorra. she's looking more like her mom because of her chinky eyes and lips but we all know my features about to hit her soon.
they let me stay with her for these last three days which i'm thankful for. this might be the only time left i have with her.
we may have some troubles taking care of xiorra though. the doctor told us since she was born 2 months early, xiorra would act younger than her age until around 3-4 years old.
the sound of lucinda coughing loudly knocked me out of my thoughts. i stood up from the chair, going over to her.
"you okay?" i asked, worried.
"i feel dizzy," she mumbled with her eyes slightly opened. i rubbed my hands on her pale, cold cheek before kissing her forehead.
lucinda would tell me this every hour or two so i wouldn't worry about it as much.
i pulled the chair closer to the hospital bed and put my face into my hands. the only thing stopping me from yelling in frustration is xiorra and lucinda. i have to stay strong for them.
i felt lucinda play in my hair causing me to melt at her touch.
"i love you so much, j-jahseh." she managed to let out.
"i love you more."
it grew quiet for a moment, the only sound you could hear was friends playing quietly on the tv.
lucinda grabbed my hand, gently pulling them away from my face.
"baby, i don't feel so good. i know you don't want to hear this coming from me in this condition but, please take care of xiorra-"
"we will take care of her, together."
"no jahseh, i won't be here." her eyes were filling up with tears by now. the look she had on her face made me turn my head the other way.
"you will be here. it'll be you, xiorra, and me! stop telling me otherwise." i snarled, growing upset.
lucinda looked away from me, letting the tears fall down her face. i sat on the side of her bed and pulled her close to me. she wasn't even warm like she was before.
"don't leave me." i mumbled into her neck. my heart stung hearing her cries,
"trust me, i don't want to leave you." she cried out, "i love you. tell xiorra i love her too." lucinda continued.
i shook my head, holding her closer to me. feeling her heart beat slow scared me. i shut my eyes and gently laid her down on the bed, still hugging her.
after a moment of me crying silently into her chest, her body went limp and the heart rate monitor went off and a straight line appeared on the screen.
she's gone for real this time.
—
the end.
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