A second chance

chapter 12

You know those points in your life where you think that you have had the worst life ? And no one else could ever have a life worse than yours ? Or you had an experience that you think no one can say they have something better or worse ? I never thought that I would have that moment, and then realize that it wasnt just me.

As I sat and watched as Keanai held Seeril I felt disgusted with myself. I hadn't wanted to admit it, but there was a small part of me, that had resented my mates. They had the life that I couldnt have even imagined of having. They had a pack that cared for them, a home that they could go back to, and most of all freedom. I had thought that their lives had been ideal, but now I see that I was so wrong.

They weren't perfect, they were people and people cant be perfect no matter how hard they try to be. They both have parts of them that are broken, they have parts that I dont know about. I bit my lip until I tasted blood, god how could I be so vain ? These two never once judged me or my pups in the short time frame that we've been here. They excepted me unconditionally for who I was with all my flaws and here I was judging them.

"Ri ?" I looked over at Keanai.
He looked, tired. Just looking in his eyes, they were tired. How did I miss this ?
Of course he be tired hes an alpha of a pack, the amount of things he has to do must be enormous. Now he suddenly has a mate and children, he hasn't been able to breathe.
"Ri I'm gonna take Seer up to our room so he'll fall back to sleep. Will you be ok ?" I nodded hugging the boys.
I watched him haul Seeril around his shoulder and half carry him out of the infirmary. The kids wanted to follow so I let them and they ran out like little ducks in a row after Keanai.

"Riku are you alright ?" I looked at warrick, slowly looking away.
I didnt say anything, I wrapped my arms around my middle and curled over myself, god I wanted to disappear.
"Riku ?!? What's wrong are you in pain ?" I shrunk away from warricks touch shuddering.
"Go away just go away, go go, go away." I curled up as far as I could.
"Riku," I kept shaking my head he couldnt help.
I heard him sigh, and listened as his footsteps headed towards the door.
"Dont be too stressed Riku, it's bad for you and the twins health ..... just take it easy." And then he left.

I waited.
Waited until I heard the door shut and his footsteps leave. That's when I collapsed on my side and cried. I felt so ashamed, ashamed that I had judged them, accused them, shamed them in my head for being so perfect. The perfect life all the opportunities I didnt get to have. You might question why I feel this way, I've lived my whole life in hellish torment. It would be natural to judge when I've seen others lives, wonder why mine was so different.

But I hate it. I hate that I have judged them, because it would be exactly what those people at that horrid place would do. If they thought anything or anyone was in some standard better, they would destroy it. Whether it be physically, emotionally psychologically.... they needed to be the best. It sickens me, it hurts to breathe, I feel sick to my stomach. I never ever wanted to be like them, I didnt want to have anything in common with them. But somewhere they got under my skin and they turned me into something dirty and ugly. Something mean and vile.

At some point I started sobbing, then sobbing turned to wails. My heart hurt my head hurt, my stomach hurt. Everything hurt, I didnt want to hurt anymore.

Keanai's pov

I finally got Seer back to bed, he cried himself to sleep. I dont know if it's a miracle or not that he did. The kids also seemed to have finally crashed. They all curled up with Seer and cuddled in a small pile, they even brought Angie and he was curled up on Seers chest. It was sweet and I thought it would be a good thing for him to wake up to.

"Keanai." Warrick came down the hall his brows pinched.
"I get today has been shit but I think you better go and comfort Riku. Once you all left he just curled up in a ball and wouldnt let me touch him." I grit my teeth and nodded.
I ran back down the stairs, speeding up when I heard wailing, god awful wailing. The sound made my heart break.

"Ri ?!" I opened the door and found him curled up on a bed like a ball sobbing and wailing like he was dying.
"Ri baby what's wrong ?!? Come on baby talk to me ok ?" I curled myself over him and hugged my arms around him.
I picked him up and put him in my lap and hugged him to my chest, he just cried and wailed. I didnt know what to do.
"Babe, baby please it's ok, it's ok, dont cry ok. Please baby talk to me I won't understand if you dont talk to me." I ran my hands through his hair and I watched him take gasping breaths.
"It hurts Kea." My heart ached.
"What hurts Ri tell me, please I'll try to fix it but baby you have to tell me what hurts." I held his head and rocked him gently.
"Everything. Everything hurts, I dont want it to hurt." God fucking dammit.
I clenched my teeth, I felt rage bubbling up in my chest. Those motherfuckers, they hurt my mate, my pups. Made them suffer just because they could. If I ever found out who they were they wouldnt live to see another day.
"Keanai it hurts so much." I curled him closer and squeezed.
"I know baby I know it hurts." I curled my arm under and around his hip, kneading the skin softly.
"Hurts .... hurts, hur-" I watched his eyes close and he finally cried himself to sleep.

I sighed and rubbed my eyes, god I needed a nap. I slowly started to move to bring Riku up the stairs to our room, hopefully sleeping with Seer will help. I shifted my hand and felt it glide over something slick, I stopped and looked at my hands.
Red.

"WARRICK !!!!!!!!!!"

..........

hey guys BetaX here, sorry this chapter is a bit shorter than others especially since I havent updated in a while. But I'm still catching up with school work and now finals are coming up so I've been juggling a lot of things so i hope you guys can forgive me.

I promise you though that most of the chapters in this book are going to be around the length I've been writing so far so daijoubu ok ? I also wanted to take the time to talk with you guys a bit more and put down some questions and theories that I want you guys to answer. Cause when you guys comment i really like answering back whether positive negative or inquisitive.

Ok question one : out of the characters so far who is your favorite and why ? Because I see in the comments back and forth about Riku and the twins, and I didnt know if it was just because so far they're the most fleshed out or not. And dont worry I've got more fleshing of other characters to do, one of them being a certain doctor.

2: where do you want this story to go ? I know that at the end of the day it is what I'm writing, but I like the idea that my readers help give criticism of how parts of the story should go. So far other than being a world with supernatural and their cultures it's been pretty normal. Do you want it to go more fantasy or more realistic ? Would you guys want to help with the story or would you just want to leave it up to me ?

3: in the furture would you want me to make one shots of the story in different situations ? Because I've got authors like wingedkelpie. Who by the way I fricken love your stories they're amazing, they write AUV's for special events and for readers count I think it is. Where their characters are the same but the situation of the story is different or they've even done cross overs. So would that be something you would want to see ? Yes or no I'm open for both.

4: what do you think the twins past is ? I have thrown some things in here and there like Seerils addiction history and Keanais mental breakdown that most likely is something I won't say what though. I'd like to here you guys theories on this.

5: what is Rikus past ? I know we all know his life in his old pack, but happened before that ? He was adopted away at 2, and adoption in werewolf culture is blasphemous. So why was he given up for adoption in the first place ? I want this to make you think and give me your theories for this too.

I hope these questions can be answered and if you want me to post more questions please tell me and feel free to post comments and questions and I will answer them. Once again thank you for reading and keeping up with me, thank you very much guys.
BetaX out ☺👋