Hamilton x reader oneshots

Connor x suicidal! Depressed! Reader

Requested by: HighandReadytoDiez
Trigger warning!

(Y/n)'s POV
I was shaky as the blade went over my delicate skin. I actually was going to do this...do I really want to? Yes. I took another deep breath before I cut, but before I did my phone rang and the name 'Connor' flashed on the screen. I put down the sharp object and shakily answered the phone, "Hey, can I come over to your house my parents are fighting again." He explained and I thought, it's Connor I have to see him at least one last time before I decide to go... "sure. Let me just clean up a bit. See you when you get here." He hung up and I cleaned up the counter putting all the dangerous things back under the sink. I then cleaned up my wrists and thighs, pulling the sleeves and pants down over the scars. After all of that I wiped up blood that got on the counter and floor then walked out. I feel like I'm forgetting something....I cleaned up the bathroom. As I pondered I heard Connor walk in, "(y/n)...." he said in a bush voice and I hummed, turning to him I saw him holding up the paper I left on my bed. That's what I forgot. "Is this....a suicide note?" He looked at me with glossy eyes I couldn't help but let a few slip tears. "No I mean yes it was only I thought...." "you were going to do it. That's why you were shaky on the phone...." he looked back down at the paper and I held my breath as he walked closer to me. He then pulled me in for a bone crushing hug. "Please don't leave." He whispered in my ear and I sniffled, breaking down on to him. He picked me up and carried me to my bedroom. I landed on my bed and he sat next to me, "can I see your arms? If you don't mind." I nodded and slowly handed my arm to him which he rolled up the sleeves and traced the scars which I hissed. "Sorry." He said as he continued, he then bent down and placed sweet kisses on them which made my eyes widen. He took the other arm and did the same, "Please please don't leave." He muttered and I saw a few tears slip. "I'm sorry Connor." I whispered and he stopped and looked straight into my (e/c) eyes. "Why though?" He whispered and I let more tears slip, "because, well I shouldn't be here. I don't deserve to live. I don't know. I just want to be happy but me living isn't doing anything. Living in this gross body isn't doing crap." I said and sighed and he wiped my tears, "you need to be here. I can't survive without you and I know it's hard to keep yourself alive just for me, but please try. I will help you like you help me, we can seek help and I will give you all the love I want to give you and more." I scoffed as he said the last thing, "that love isn't going to be love. I know you would never like me like how I like you....." I sighed and I felt him softly kiss my lips and pull away, "you like me?" I sighed and continued, "always have but I shouldn't, I don't deserve you." He pulled me close and peppered my face with kisses, "I love you, you know that right?" I sniffled hugged back, "I'm glad I know now." I said and he smiled, "is there anymore cuts?" He asked and I blushed but also stuttered, "well some are on my thighs so they aren't too noticeable but you don't need to...." before I could say anything else he interlaced our hands and kissed the fingers. He then rolled up my pants and I blushed, "Connor please don't, you may say I'm beautiful but my thighs are gross." I said and he raised his head and pecked my lips again, falling on top of me he cupped my face, "I think every single part of you is beautiful and I won't do that since you're not ready I just don't want you hurting so that's why I'm kissing your scars. I don't mean t to be sexual or anything I just don't like seeing you hurt." He finished and I choked on my tears and hugged his neck and cried into the the crook. "I'm sorry." I cried out and he hushed me, "it's okay just please don't try to commit suicide again. I can't bare to live without you. And please don't hurt yourself but if you do please let me know." He kisses my head and I nodded. He turned us on his side so we can lie down and cuddle. "I'm sorry again." I said and he brushed my bangs back, "it's okay. At least I got here in time." He said and moved his arm to around my waist making me gasp in air. "Sorry I don't-
"No please, I'm sorry I'm just not used to this. And I'm scared you're gonna get grossed out by my stretch marks...." he gasped, "you have stretch marks?" I sighed, "Yeah, I know gross." He pulled me closer and traced his finger tips over them, "you're gorgeous." He whispered and I smiled and sniffled as I wrapped my arms around him again. I played with his hair and after a while I fell asleep with my hands still tangled in his soft brown locks and his fingers were still on my curves by my hip.

Word count: 951
~ Cotton Candy Koi 💕