Chapter 18

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I typed this on my iPhone because one of my friends was begging me to put up another chapter, therefore this is dedicated to her, haha. I hope there aren't too many mistakes, but I will be editing it tonight. Please read the author's note at the end, thank you! :)

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Janie and I made our way to Dr. Reynolds' office in a carefree manner. There was no need for us to be escorted considering how long Janie had been there so the staff trusted her. Once we got to the door I knocked a few times and we waited for his response.

"Come on in!" He shouted.

Janie grabbed the door handle and twisted it open before walking in, me following close behind. Both of us sat down on the red, leather couch just a few inches away from each other.

Ever since I found out how Alex died, Janie and I had become much closer. We were both grieving, so it felt nice that the other understood the pain. Neither of us judged or made a big deal about it, instead we were there for each other and made sure the other was okay. I still missed Alex deeply, but I knew I could do nothing to bring her back, as much as I wanted to.

"Okay, I asked you both here this morning for an important reason. I have two pieces of paper for both of you. What I want you to do first is look at each other for a few seconds, then write down how you see the other. When you both are finished, I want you to stand in front of this mirror on the left, then write down how you see yourself on the other piece of paper." Dr. Reynolds explained.

I gave him a puzzled look, and by the expression on Janie's face she seemed just as confused as I was. Despite our internal questions, we took the pieces of paper and both turned towards each other. I studied Janie for a few moments before I turned towards my paper and she did the same. By the time I was done writing I had a paragraph down, then looked back up at Dr. Reynolds.

A few seconds passed before Jamie finished, then we both stood up and walked over to the mirror. I hated looking at my reflection, but forced myself to do it anyway. Both of us were silent as we studied ourselves, then went back to the couch to finish the last requirement.

Once we finished, Dr. Reynolds gave us a small smile, then looked over to Janie. "Would you please read what you wrote down for Kylie?" He asked.

Janie nodded and took a deep breath before turning towards me. "Kylie is a very beautiful girl. Her hair compliments her skin tone quite nicely and her eyes are stunning. All in all, she's gorgeous. However, she's also really small. Her arms are very thin along with her upper torso. Her collarbone sticks out more prominently than anyone else's, and her waistline is very narrow. She looks as if she hasn't eaten in years, and in all honesty that scares me."

When Janie was done I was at a loss for words. I didn't know how to react, but didn't have much time before Dr. Reynolds asked me to read my paper. I cleared my throat a little before speaking.

"Janie looks confident and beautiful. Everything about her will turn heads and break necks. She has a natural beauty that she seems to embrace so she doesn't wear a lot of makeup, which I think is a good thing. When I see how thin she is though, I feel terrible. I'm afraid that she'll pass out from lack of nutrients. I don't see any meat on her, just skin and bones. Her thighs never touch while she's sitting and her hip bones stick out. She looks almost sickly in weight. I'm terrified something's going to happen if she loses any more."

When I was done, I set my paper down and looked up at Janie. She looked as if she was fighting back tears, and all I wanted to do was hug her, so I did. Our arms tightly braced each other's body as we sat there. Dr. Reynolds didn't say a thing, instead he let us have our moment.

After a few moments we finally released the hug and looked over to Dr. Reynolds. He was smiling a little as he sat back in his chair. "Now Janie, can you please read the paper about yourself?" He asked.

"Do I have to?" She asked rather quickly.

"You don't, but as I said, what were doing right now is very important." Dr. Reynolds told her.

Janie sighed in defeat and picked up the piece of paper. "When I see myself, I see a morbidly obese girl looking back at me. I try to think that my mind is subconsciously doing this to me, but I can't help looking over every body part and wishing that it were smaller. I want to sit in my room and think of new ways to lose weight. I want to run out of this office and just run laps around the hallways. If I could, I would have shattered the mirror into a million pieces so I never had to look at my reflection for a second longer."

When Janie finished I put my hand on her shoulder ready to speak, but was cut off. "And you, Kylie." Dr. Reynolds said.

I sighed heavily before looking down at my own paper. "I hate everything I see when I look at myself. I could imagine taking some sort of knife and chopping off all the fat. I could see my arms jiggle every time I move the slightest bit. I can imagine my stomach curling if I bent over or sat down. My cheeks are way too chubby and it looks like I have kankles. All I can think about is how people will see me. They will tell me how fat I am and laugh at me just like so many times before.”

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