Love Story

Stars

Author : britishshoe
Original publish on : archieve of our own | 2018

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Jungsoo had been ruminating for a long time. He had been a lot of things for a long time. He washed his face in the mirror, adorned in a cat ear headband that he had been given by Heechul.

 The crow's feet appeared shallow beneath his temples, invisible to the untrained eye. He looked at himself for a long while, massaging foaming cleanser into the narrow crevices of his forehead. 

Worry. Heechul said that was what caused these lines. He smiled at the mental image of the man with the ebony hair and the ivory skin, virtually untouched by years of show business. Jungsoo knew he still looked good himself, but that was all too subjective when he was criticizing the things that had not always been there. He gave himself a practiced smile, almost an encouragement, and brought a washcloth that had been bathed in warm water to his face. 

All of his time on this earth had taught him that telling yourself something with repetition held more efficacy than a prayer. He told himself that he was not responsible for the earth itself, and he almost believed it now. 

One day he would let himself slow down, he promised in vain to his reflection. He smoothed out his skin with his hands as he applied a thin layer of night cream, thinking of how it was the most familiar thing in his life. This was the moisturizer his mother used, at least he thought it was. He had spent so many years being Leeteuk, that he could tend to forget what it was like to be Jungsoo. 

He thought briefly of giving her a call before he remembered the ungodly hour at which he now survived, and he knew she would be asleep. It seemed these days that much of the world slept while he took in their stillness, waiting for them to return to him at dawn. He told himself for years that sleeping was a necessity and was not to be delighted in; he had things to do even when everyone else was quiet. 

Jungsoo began to realize he had been standing there with the tap running lukewarm over his hands, waiting for him to make a move. He turned the handle and sighed into his towel, wiping his hands softly on its material. He was too deep in his own mind to hear the soft footsteps on linoleum; to see Heechul's reflection approaching in the mirror. 

The only thing that still held the ability to bring him back was the sensation of arms around his waist, the feeling of a kiss to the base of his neck. After all this time he still could not believe this man loved him, and that he loved him back, more than anything in the world. He felt tears prick at the invitation from his lover to join him in bed, to be held and to have the worries melt away under warm, innocent kisses. 

His body leaned back instinctively, letting his partner support him, just for the moment. He would not wait to be convinced, not tonight. Jungsoo let Heechul guide him by the hand from the bathroom, flicking the light off as an afterthought. He let himself admire the lines of Heechul's body, still looking like that of the boy of twenty-two he had met way back when, now clad only in a tank top and a pair of boxer shorts. 

Effortless. Jungsoo's heart would swell every day, would burst endlessly with love for this effortless beauty that took his breath away, took his pain away. Heechul hit the bed with a thud, arms wide and smiling to show his gums. He willed his hands to close and open again in a beckoning motion, controlling Jungsoo's mind with the way he shined from the mattress. 

The latter crawled from the foot of the bed up to the former, sinking into his grasp. He smelled the airy scent of Heechul's fabric softener, felt the warmth of his spindly arms around him. He was encased in this moment, preserved by the love and care that he had been needing as of late. The sensation exasperated him and he felt his tears fall gently down his cheeks. 

Heechul did not ask, he already understood. He knew better than anyone that this life as a star always involves burning out. He used his thumb to lightly dab at the crystal clear trail that cut Jungsoo's face. Water made the Grand Canyon after all those years, and tears had trudged Jungsoo's cheeks for what felt like just as long. Heechul pressed a soft kiss to the crown of his head, the most fitting treatment for the man that had from day one been his prince. 

Even after thirteen years, Heechul saw Jungsoo in this way, pure and golden even in the shadows of their shared bedroom. They had been through everything together, and Jungsoo had been handling it all alone without being asked to. 

No one was as grateful as Heechul, because no one saw him shatter so many nights, beautiful and fragile like stained glass. 

No one had picked up the pieces like Heechul had, and he was grateful to have the opportunity to cherish this man the way no one else could. Jungsoo did not shake or sob, not tonight. 

He just lie tired in his lover's arms, limp from days and days of being the Leeteuk everyone knew and loved. Heechul was more than happy to hold him when he needed it, and just when he wanted it. He sang softly now against Jungsoo's hair and rubbed up and down the length of his arm, holding him like something precious. 

He hummed in acknowledgement when Jungsoo asked about the morning alarm, deciding a fib was worth it just this once. Heechul knew very well it was not set, and he did not intend to change that fact. 

He held Jungsoo a little tighter, fluttering kisses along the back of his neck and humming against his skin until he could feel him settle into sleep. Jungsoo had been tired for a long time; tonight the prince would sleep.