Lost Identity: Eloria Series Book 1 | ✓

3: Vacant Eyes

Martin was kind enough to drop me off at home to get cleaned up and change. I smelled like coffee dregs. He had to pick up Katie at the sitters first, then he'd swing by again and we'd make our way to Hemley Park.

I told him about what happened with the business people and how I was so certain that I knew one of them. He asked what they looked like and when I described them, Martin said he'd seen them before. I agreed that it was the most likely situation of how I knew the man, but still, there was a nagging whisper in my mind insisting that I knew him prior to working at the restaurant. I couldn't shake the feeling.

As soon as I shut the front door behind me, I started disrobing as I walked up the stairs toward the bathroom. I left a trail of clothes over the steps and the floor, as if I were some sort of molting creature.

I hadn't been working at the Hemley Hotel restaurant for long, but I'd actually started to enjoy it. At least while I was working, I wouldn't fixate and worry over the most important aspect of my life: my identity.

Grateful as I was for the semblance of a life that I now had, I couldn't help dreading my weekly visits to see Dr. Lin at the Hemley Psychiatric Hospital. I knew I shouldn't complain—I'd been released from inpatient care after a few months and only had to see her once a week for a general evaluation.

It wasn't because Dr. Lin was harsh or unkind. In my books, anyone who was willing to help a naked, incoherent woman in the park must have a heart of gold. Dr. Lin took me to her home to get cleaned up, gave me food, got me medical care, helped me get a job at the hotel, and arranged for my own residence. Sure, the place wasn't glamorous, but there was nothing to complain about. There really was no reason to dread seeing her for weekly evaluations, except for my own insecurities involving the hallucinations.

I didn't want to go back to being an inpatient if for some reason Dr. Lin found me unfit to be a part of society. I feared that most of all.

By the time I was in the shower, my mind began to wander again to thoughts of the gray-eyed man. Who was he? He was waiting by the stairs for someone, wasn't he? Did he want to speak to me? Just then I realized that he and his colleagues had covered for me by telling Jenny that everything was fine. Why would they do that?

When I got out of the shower, I started combing my tangled black hair. It dangled down to the middle of my back and could have been beautiful if I attended to the split ends that I so desperately needed to rid myself of.

As I combed it, I looked at myself in the mirror, trying to make note of any unique features. Nothing physically, so to speak, was out of the ordinary. The only odd feature was my eyes being two different colors.

After I managed to comb out the tangles, I pulled back my hair to tie it into a ponytail and felt around the back of my neck for the scar hidden below my hairline. It protruded slightly; not a tattoo, more of a burn or branding. It was writing of some sort, though I had no idea what language it was written in. Of course, it wasn't great that I had a burn mark, but the mark was another clue to my identity. The other thing that was odd was that I could never find a scar on my body. Not one. Hadn't I ever had an injury as a child? Hadn't I ever had a fall, a cut, or a bruise?

I stared blankly at my reflection in the window. My origins. When was I born? I didn't even know how old I was exactly, but an educated guess would say that I was around Martin's age or a couple years younger. Who were my parents? Did I resemble more of my father or my mother?

Then, my image blurred. Everything faded to black.

Not now.

My reflection dissolved, and another face slowly came into focus. It was a face of a young girl. She was beautiful and had striking emerald green eyes. She looked listless, and her eyes were hollow—completely vacant of awareness and spirit. Her hair was so blond, it was nearly white. Loose strands fell over parts of her forehead and cheeks, framing her heart shaped face.

From under the strands, I caught a glimpse of a large, yellow gemstone at the center of her forehead, but slowly, the image of the girl faded and was replaced by my own face.

At the restaurant, Martin had asked if I was still seeing visions. He knew that my nightmares had become hallucinations during the day. He called them visions because of my amnesic condition, and he thought the things I was seeing could very well be memories. I wouldn't have told him about them, but he'd caught me having an episode a couple weeks ago.

That day, during one of our slump hours, I was sitting in front of the large window that faced the main street. I saw a mother and her young daughter strolling hand in hand on the sidewalk and wondered about what my own childhood may have been like. After they passed, I became acutely aware of my reflection in the window.

That's when the vision happened.

It was as if everything outside the window faded to black and I could no longer see what was outside. Soon, I was surrounded by darkness. The restaurant tables and chairs were gone. I couldn't even feel the chair I'd been sitting on. Then, I was overcome by a feeling that I wasn't alone in the darkness and the figure of a woman began to take shape. It was at that moment when Martin spotted me and shook me back to reality. Later on, he told me that he'd been trying to speak to me, but I was expressionless and unresponsive. Thankfully for me, Jenny was in the staff room when it happened.

I told Martin the truth and made him swear not to tell a soul. Even more fortunately was the fact that Martin wasn't judgmental. Martin is intrigued by things like the supernatural and the paranormal—basically everything that you can't put your finger on.

The doorbell rang.

"Just a minute!" I hollered.

I rushed downstairs and opened the door, revealing Martin's smiling face and his sister, Katie.

Martin had changed into his usual getup: combat boots, jeans, and an underground indie rock t-shirt.

Katie wore jeans, a patterned tank top, and some pink Converse shoes. I noted that her socks were two different colors: one purple, and the other, blue.

You could tell they were related by taking one glance. They had the same dark brown hair and dark blue eyes. When their parents passed away two years ago in a car accident, Martin dropped out of college in his sophomore year and became her legal guardian.

While some people might take one look at Martin and write him off as a delinquent, he sure was anything but. Sure, there was a wild, adventurous side to him, but when it came to caring for Katie, he was solid. Martin was barely twenty-one when he took on the responsibility. It was a decision that couldn't have been easy to make, especially when Katie took her parents' deaths very hard and became selectively mute. After their parents' death, Katie stopped speaking to strangers, and although I've known the Rosses for a while now, Katie was still very shy around me, though I felt she had warmed considerably.

"Hi Katie, how are you doing?" I asked with a smile. Katie returned the smile but avoided eye contact with me as she fidgeted with her fingers.

"Well, we just found out she's top of her class in math, so that's something to be proud of!" said Martin.

"Wow, really? Uh oh, that means your brother will have to follow through on his promise." I winked at Katie.

"Yeah, looks like she'll be getting that puppy I promised her," Martin said. Katie's eyes brightened at the mention of a puppy.

"Come on, let's go." Martin motioned to his car with the nod of his head.

It was time for me to face my fears and head back to Hemley Park, where my life as I knew it began.

I swallowed hard before forcing an uneasy smile.