~South Park Style Oneshots~

Jews Love Black Lipstick

Heeeyy!! Currently writing other fics that have been suggested! For now, I'm throwin this at ya'll

Ft. Fike

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It was a pretty uneventful Sunday afternoon in the Broflovski household. It was quiet, with only the TV humming and the clicking sound of a keyboard coming from upstairs.

The two brothers, Kyle and Ike, were currently vegging out on the sofa in the living room. They were also wallowing in their own self-pity, as they realized how much of hopeless romantics they were. Even though the two boys weren't biologically related, it turned out they had the same type. Specifically the gothic type. Through snooping on Ike's phone, Kyle had recently found out about his brother's deep crush on Firkle, a seventh grade goth student. When Ike found out about Kyle's knowledge of this, he became completely embarrassed, causing Kyle to feel bad, and as an apology told Ike about how he was practically in love with Stan, who was also one of the goth kids.

Kyle and Ike now bonded over their shared interest in downer goth boys, and feeling shitty about how their love is probably one sided has become one of their rituals.

"Uuuugghh bro this fucking sucks," Ike complained, sliding deeper into the couch cushions, "But feeling horrible with another person is a lot better than feeling horrible alone." Kyle snorted and ran a hand through his curls, "I get what you mean."

Ike began squirming in his seat, then suddenly stilled in frustration. "FUCK I just wanna like, feel his hair, and have him sit in my lap maybe..." Kyle visibly cringed. His brother was obsessed, and it was kinda adorable but also kinda weird. "Ew bro," Kyle said, lightly kicking Ike in the thigh, "You're so cheesy." Ike rolled his eyes, kicking his brother harder to his hip. "You're one to talk, Kyle. You're constantly like, 'omg Stan's so beautiful, I wanna hold him forever and have him POUND ME.'" Kyle kicked Ike even harder to his arm, almost on the verge of getting angry. "I do not say that... at least not that last part! Screw you Ike."

The two boys suffered in silence for the rest of the afternoon, wondering if they'll be miserable forever.

The next day, Ike busted through the front door and marched up to his brother's room. Kyle gets home from school earlier than Ike, because of Ike's hockey practice.

"I DID IT," Ike yelled once opening Kyle's door, scaring the older a little. Kyle was sitting at his desk doing his homework. He put his pencil down and turned his attention to Ike. "Did what?" Ike grabbed Kyle's shoulders and shook him violently. "I FUCKING ASKED HIM OUT, AND HE SAID YES. HE SAID HE WAS ONLY GOING WITH ME BECAUSE HE PITIED ME, BUT I'LL TAKE IT." Ike was still shaking his brother like crazy, and Kyle felt like he was about to throw up. He stopped Ike from shaking him, and told him to stop yelling. "That's amazing, Ike! I'm so proud of you," Kyle praised, lightly punching Ike in his shoulder. Ike's smile widened, and his eyes had a mischievous look in them. Kyle noticed, and squinted at him with suspicion. "Ike...what else did you do?" Ike snickered and pinched his brother's face. "You have a date, too."

Kyle's eyes widened. "What are you talking about?" Ike started laughing at the look on Kyle's face. He seemed almost horrified. "I made it a double-date," Ike explained, "I'll be going with Ike, and you... will be going with Stan!" Kyle shot up from his seat, his face completely red. "WHAT?!!?" Ike just rolled his eyes with a smile still plastered on his face. "Bro, why you getting all scared? If anything, you should be thanking me." Ike crossed his arms. Kyle slowly dropped back into his desk chair. Holy crap, there was no way this was happening. Kyle was certain that he would just be unlovable forever. He was thinking of canceling the whole double date thing, and just let Ike go with Firkle, but this was a one time chance...