~South Park Style Oneshots~

Can You Believe This Shit?

It makes me so happy that people are still reading my stories!! I baked another one up for y'all, I hope you enjoy! ALSO I hope you guys are safe, don't forget to wash yo nasty hands!

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It all started in third grade.

Up until then, it's always been the little clan of the four boys, getting themselves into trouble and whatnot. The rascals were always up to something, and seldom seen apart. However, when it was finally summer between second and third grade, it had been Stan who stood by Kyle's side when the redhead had been sick for nearly all of vacation. Unlike Kenny and Cartman who feared catching the "jew sickness," as Cartman put it, Stan visited Kyle everyday, and that's how it blossomed.

Throughout all of third grade, the two had become inseparable. Stan was glad to realize that spending time with Kyle felt so easy, and that he wanted to see him more. He had never connected with anyone on such a special level before, or at least as special for a third grader. To find someone in a sea of potential friends, Kyle had meant more to Stan than anyone else.

Third grade passed by fast, and fourth grade brought on new thrills. Every moment for Stan felt new and exciting, especially because his super best friend was there with him. Even something as simple as waiting at the bus stop had him bouncing on his feet, eagerly waiting for Kyle to show up so they could gush about the new Terrance and Phillip episodes.

Stan had to admit, however, that not all the new excitements and thrills had been particularly pleasing. His panic-inducing thoughts and his idiotic dad greatly dampened the fun of fourth grade, but Kyle had been there to drag him along on a fun adventure and make a smile appear on Stan's face, and for that, Stan wouldn't mind going through those fourth grade hardships all over again.

Stan definitely enjoyed fifth grade. It was the year where Kyle sleeping over became a weekly tradition, and Kyle's room basically felt like a second home. At the same time though, it was also the year where Stan began to worry about (at the time, very important) menial issues. Like, what if his room was too messy for Kyle's tastes? What if he was too annoying? What if Kyle thought their hugs were super gay now, and Stan would have to stop doing it forever? He was suddenly nervous about everything, from freaking out over how he said "what's up," to constantly wondering if Kyle would find his jokes funny.

Stan realized how ridiculous he was being when Kyle brought it up, "Dude, why do you always leave me hangin with the high-fives and fistbumps nowadays?" Stupidly, it was because Stan was afraid his hand might be too sweaty, or that he would mess up the greeting in some way. He didn't know how to respond, and he thought he saw something akin to hurt in Kyle's eyes, so from then on he said "fuck you" to the over-dramatic thoughts and quit his charade.

Sixth grade was scary, they were at the bottom of the middle school food chain. Somehow, though, Kyle didn't seem deterred at all. He saw it as a new beginning, and a new chance to take on the world, for a middle schooler, anyway. He became top of his history and math class, overjoyed that he finally beat Wendy to it, and Stan couldn't be happier for him.

If any of Stan's friends were asked what he was like in sixth grade, their simple response would be "Kyle." Stan only ever talked about him throughout the year, with "did you know Kyle did this" and "Kyle said this really cool thing." Students mostly found it annoying, but Stan didn't care, it was like his job to make sure everyone knew how awesome his super best friend was.

Not only friends, but family too, had their ears talked off about Kyle. Shelley always made fun of Stan for it, saying that he had no other friends, and Randy warned him to be careful unless he wanted everyone to think he liked dudes. However, ignoring the warnings, sixth grade was when Stan started asking Kyle if he wanted to come with them on family vacations or spend holidays with them. Not only did Stan miss the smartass greatly when they were apart, but for some reason, Stan needed his family to see how amazing Kyle was. It was as though if they didn't like him, they didn't like Stan as well.