Guns and Mirrors

SIXTEEN

This is a double update as per usual- Chapter 15 was uploaded before this so please make sure you read them in the correct order :)

♛Cameron Dawson ♛

The twelve hours that had followed Harley's initiation was probably one of the longest twelve hours of my life. Even after Ramiro had told us where she was, I still had to wait for her. Needless to say, it was painful.

Katalina had stayed the night, crashing on the couch so as to help me get Harley as soon as the twelve hours were up. I couldn't sleep though and instead stayed up drinking tea and boxing in the room. Katalina had offered me company- a presence of assurance and comfort as I poured my anger into boxing.

We spoke a lot too and I learnt more about her. Like how her and Ramiro are actually twins and have never being to Oregon before. She told me about how she had never planned anything for her future except joining the gang. Turns out that she loves baking- especially brownies- and enjoys collecting sneakers. Katalina also mentioned how she wanted to start a family one day- be a mother that could provide everything for her child.

I didn't talk much during the time but she didn't seem to expect me to or be upset that I didn't. And I appreciate that. My ability to trust people has being severed immensely but even I cannot deny that I enjoy Katalina's presence. There's something about it that's... maternal almost.

Now that Harley is in bed, not yet cleaned up due to her unconscious state, I drag myself back to the living room where Katalina is seated on the couch. She looks up as I enter, eyebrows scrunched together in concern.

"Is she okay?"

I drop down onto the space beside her, letting out a breath as I do so. "I think so. Her wounds still need to be tended to but I'll do that when she's awake."

The Mexican girl beside me nods, leaning further into the couch. A moment of silence passes between us before I break it.

"Thank you for helping me. Both you and Ramiro."

A warm smile makes its way onto her face. "You don't need to thank me for that." She says. "I told Harley that she'd need someone to rely on in the gang the first day I met her. I hope I can be that person."

Her words are compassionate and- for the millionth time- I'm baffled at how a woman with such a soft heart can be part of a gang. I wish more than anything that I could be that way despite doing what I am.

"How do you do it?" I blurt suddenly. Her smile morphs into a confused expression and I go on to clarify. "How do you manage to be a good person even though you're in a gang?"

A short laugh escapes her and she shakes her head. "The gang is my circumstance Cameron, not who I am. I'm not just a Slither Member, I'm still Katalina. Being part of a gang doesn't have to change that."

My gaze drops to my hands and I dwell on her words. I've had to kill numerous people throughout my life- how could I do that with a kind heart? My father said that emotions are a weakness and I understand that to a certain point; if I had killed those people with mercy, the guilt would have being worse. You have to get rid of your emotions to protect yourself from what you got to do. I can't afford to feel empathy, not when I have dirty work that I need to do.

"Everyone copes differently Cameron. There's nothing to be ashamed about if yours is different too."

My gaze meets hers and there's a reassuring gleam in her eyes but its the gentleness that she offers that comforts me.

"Thank you Katalina."

She smiles widely at me, slipping her hands into the pockets of her jacket. "Where are you from?"