Chapter 20

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Don't start song yet
              My alarm goes off. Which is surprising since it didn't wanna work yesterday. I felt good today. Today was the game which I'm still gonna go to and..OH No I totally forgot about the project me and Dylan had to do. I don't know what I'm gonna tell him. I should have done it last night. You know what. I'm not gonna let that ruin my day. I put on some black cropped leggings and a white champion shirt with some white Nike's. I straightened my hair and put on some makeup and little extra highlighter on my nose. I wanted to look cute for Dylan and for me.
I go downstairs and find my mom again. I thought she would be at work. She looked up at me from her phone but didn't say anything. I got a bowl and put some lucky charms in it. No one could ruin today for me, not even my mom...or the project I didn't do. I sat in the table and ate my lucky charms in peace.
"Your brothers gonna pick you up from school today." And then my mom comes and ruins my peace.
"Um no, since when is he in charge of me?" I looked up but then kept eating my lucky charms.
"Since you decided to become this whole other person. And date that guy." She stammered.
"I thought you said he's nice and you liked him. What do you have against him?" Just keep calm. Remember Violet, this is a good day.
"Yeah he's nice AS A FRIEND not boyfriend?" She looked at me as if I was stupid.
"Sorry but I have plans." I got up and walked out the door.
"Violet!" I heard her yell.
Today is still a good day. I kept walking and saw
Dylan's car. I walked up to his door and knocked on it. I felt spontaneous today.
"Oh hey Violet, what are you doing here?" Cindy said in her pajamas.
"Is Dylan here?" Obviously he is.
"He's up stairs getting ready, wanna come in." She opened the door wider.
"Umm sure." How could I say no.
"So how's your mom?" She said making herself coffee.
"She's fine. She's happy for me and Dylan." Lies.
"Wow that's great. Yesterday she didn't seem so happy."
"It's because I didn't tell her first so it was a surprise for her but I talked to her and she's totally ok with us." I smiled. I'm becoming a really good liar I'm so proud of myself.
"Oh really? Well I'm glad she's ok with it now. I think you guys make a great couple. You know he needs someone like you in his life. His other girlfriends were how do you say it, crazy." She laughed.
"Really?? Well don't worry I'm not crazy or anything."
"Your a very kind girl. I can tell. Well anyways, do you want some coffee?" She offered.
"No I'm good. I already ate." I responded.
"Um Violet, what are you doing here?" Dylan said slowly walking down the stairs. What am I doing here? I probably seem so creepy just coming to his house. I felt embarrassed.
"I just..I came too.."
"She came to say hi to me and apologize for her mom yesterday." Cindy said and smiled at me.
"It doesn't even matter Violet. Who cares what she said." Dylan said coming up to me and hugging me.
"Yeah I guess your right."
"Well lets go." He said grabbing my hand and heading out the door.
"Aren't you gonna eat!" I heard his mother yell.
"I'll eat at school!" He yelled back.
I got in the passenger seat and put my seat belt on.
"You look so bomb today. I just wanna kiss you." He said turning over to me and leaning in for a kiss. I'm not gonna lie. That surprised me and it also made me blush. I guess we both felt spontaneous today.
"Ok ok drive." I laughed pulling out of his kiss.
"Are you sure? We can take this to the back." He chuckled.
"As much as I would love that...Im not trynna be late."
"Your always so worried about being late, just take a breather Violet. Let it beeee." He said backing up from the drive way.
"No thanks, you see I have a record of no tardies except for like one time and I'd like to keep it that way." I said proudly. He laughed.
"Wow what an acomplishment." He said sarcastically. He looked over at me and smiled, I just rolled my eyes.
"You know what my biggest accomplishment is?" He said.
"What?"
"Making you mine."
"That's litterly the cheesiest thing you've ever said." I said laughing. "But its cute." I smiled.
"Ok you know what, how bout we forget I said that and listen to some music." He laughed changing the station.
"That doesn't change the fact you said it."I said smirking.
***Start song***
He looked over at me and smiled. I smiled too and looked out the window.
"I love this song." He said. So did I.
"Send me your location..."
I laughed. "Your such a great singerr." I said sarcastically.
"Really?"
"No." I laughed an ugly laugh.
"Oh.... Well I dont care. Maybe Ill leave football for my singing carrier." He said.
"Mhmmm ok."
He looked over at me and chuckled. I smiled to myself and looked out the window at the houses.
                "This song is for you." He said looking over at me again. Hopefully we dont crash cuz he keeps looking over at me I worry to much lol.
         I just love the thought he dedicates this song for me, even though he didnt make the song or anything. It just makes me feel special. Like you pay attention to every lyric and just smile to yourself. Thats me.
             "So don't take advantage dont leave my heart to damage...."
              I looked over at him. Hes just so adorable singing to himself. I could see the school from a few blocks away. I really just wanted to stay in the car with him and listen to the song.
               I got my phone out and looked at myself from the reflection. Im just that person. I didn't want to look bad even though I wouldn't have anyone to impress. Im just a very insecure person.
                "You look beautiful don't worry." He said looking at me. I blushed and put my phone down.
                "There was something in my eye." I said.
                "Oh ok I seee." He said sarcastically.
                 "You know what whatever....I just wanted see how I look." I said crossing my arms and smiling like a little girl.
                  "You don't have to worry about that." He put the volume louder without taking the smile off his face. I sang the song to myself. I knew all the lyrics. The littlest things can make me happy. Like I know Im making a big deal in him dedicating a song for me out of nothing but it really means a lot to me. If he were to give me a simple rose I would be more than happy with it. I would put it next to my bed everynight. Ok that just sounds creepy. But you get the point. Im not a person that likes the best stuff its more in the meaning.
               "I might make you mine by tonight..." I could hear him singing the song. I havent been this happy in a while.
                We got to the drive way and stood there for a second.
               "We have like 5 minute." He said checking his phone.
               "I guess we could stay for like a minute or 2." I said getting closer.
               "You dont wanna be late do you?" He said getting even closer.
               "Maybe I could make an exception." I said looking at his lips than at him. We were only centimeters away. It wasnt to long until I felt that feeling again I always do when I kiss. Its like I never want to stop.
              "Ok lets go now." I said even though I really didnt want to go.
              "One more kiss."
              "Kay, there." I said giving him a peck. I got out of the car before he could say anything. It was a little cold since it was the morning but it was gonna be hot later. Dylan started walking towards me. He had some black nike basketball shorts and a white nike shirt with some nikes. We were kind of matching with the white shirt and nikes coincidently. Which I thought was pretty cute.
              "I will see you later." He said giving me long hug. My stomach started to hurt like it always does.
              "Mkay and for the football game Ill just meet you at the game since your gonna play." I needed to make a plan to sneek out. I mean it wasnt gonna be that hard too to be honest.
                "Ok if you say so." He said kissing my cheek.
                I smiled as he walked away.
           Now I have to face 1 and 2 with Demilio. I hope things didnt get weird from yesterday. Every time I think of Demilio I get this sick feeling..like I'm doing him wrong. Which I have in the past. I don't understand how he still wants to be around me if I've done so many fucked up things to him. I slowly walk to the class. As always I was early and I sat down in my seat.
            Soon the bell rang and Demilio was no where to be found. He's always late so I shouldn't be worried. Maybe the dream I had was a sign of something. Cause sometimes I have dreams and like they happen or something like that.
"Today you guys will continue your partner work you did from yesterday. So get with your partner and finish. And when you guys are done you guys will share one new thing you learned about your partner." Ms.bling said.
I don't know if Demilio wasn't here but I was a little relieved in a way. Cause every time I'm with him I either feel sad and sorry or happy and safe.
"Why are you so late Demilio?" Ms.bling said. Somehow I was more happy than sad that he was here.
"I woke up late."
"Well thanks for being honest now go sit down." She said.
I didn't say anything. I kind of felt awkward.
"So were gonna do that partner thing?" He said turning to me.
"Oh yeah." I said taking out the paper I wrote on.
"It's your turn right?" He said.
"Mhm"
"Here I just start-ok—Um your is Demilio and here are some of your favorite things. Your favored color is blue. Your favorite hobby is football. Your favorite food is...pizza?" He chuckled.
                "Actually it's Chinese food."
               "Oh." I laughed. "Anyways your favorite desert is..ice cream, your favorite person is your mom, your favorite animal is a dog, um..I just skipped band." I looked up at him, he was just smiling.
               "One thing you hate is..." I didn't know if I wanted to say it. "When people aren't truthful."
               "One thing you love is animals? And um..one thing you like about me.....is..I didn't put anything." I said putting the paper down.
                "There are so many things I like about you." He said laughing. "Like your smile, or how happy you get for anything, or how shy you get, or your clumsiness"
               "Well you shouldn't." I said looking down.
                "You see I've tried forgetting my feelings about you, I've tried and then you come and try to get close to me again-"
                 "I'm sorry I gave you that imp-"
                 "You don't know how you feel Violet, Dylan would never treat you like I would. I bet he doesn't know your favorite color or food or...anything." I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say. Part of me knew or thought maybe he's right. Maybe Dylan doesn't really know me. Maybe Demilio is better for me.
                 "And I'm sorry I tried to kiss you yesterday, I shouldn't have done that."
                 "It's fine, but tell me one thing, why did you forgive me after I cheated on you?" He hesitated for a moment.
                "Um I..you- you probably weren't weren't thinking in the moment." How could he forgive me so easily. I don't deserve his forgiveness. It kinda makes me mad that he's not mad at me. I don't want him to just forgive me for cheating on him even though it would hurt if he wouldn't.
                "And what if I was, what if I meant to hurt you."
                "Then I guess I would..I would still forgive you." He looked confused.
                  "Why? I meant it didn't I. I wanted to hurt you?"
                 "Because Violet..I I love you."
                  "Well I did it to hurt you. What are you gonna do now?" He didn't say anything. I regretted the moment I said it. I wish I didn't say that. All I wanted was him to forget me or atleast that's what I think I want. I'm not good for him. All I'll do is hurt him. I need him to be mad at me.
                 "Why?" He said without an expression.        
          "You would never do something like that."
                "Ok now that everyone's done we are gonna move on to some work." Ms.bling said.
                Did I really do the right thing by saying that? Did I really help him get over me or am I just making it worse? I am, I'm making it worse. Like I always do. I never think through things. I just wanted to kill myself in that moment ugh. 
                  The whole lesson I wanted to say something to him. Anything. But nothing came out. I wanted to tell him how sorry I am for cheating on him and how I didn't mean it. I never meant to hurt him. I wanted to tell him how I don't deserve him, he's to good for me. But here I am doing nothing. I couldn't even look at him. The bell soon rang and I quickly got up. I had to talk to him before he left.
                  "Demilio hold up." I grabbed his hand before he could leave. He didn't turn to look at me though.
                  "I'm I'm sorry." He didn't say anything for a moment then he looked at me with a distant look in his face.
                  "I know I said I could forgive you but now I don't even know if I ever could." Ive never heard him like that. It's like disappointed and anger. He ripped his hand out of my grip and walked away.
               I don't know if I could ever fix this. I did something really horrible. I would never be able to forgive myself. But I know how I could fix this. At the game. After the game I'm gonna go and talk to him. I feel like this really made me realize the dream I had. I AM taking him for granted. I felt like I was kind of starting to—never mind.
                   I walked to my next block with Dylan. I was really dreading this period since we have to present our thing that I didn't do. It's not like I would be able to concentrate. Demilio is the only thing I could think about. I wanted so badly to go to tell him I didn't mean anything I said. That I was just trying to help him get over me.
                   I went to go sit down in my seat. This gave me memories from what happened with Rachel. I wonder if he talked to her again, but I trust him so I shouldn't look through his phone like I did last time right? He soon walked in. Dylan didn't look worried at all. I mean of course he didn't. He probably thought I did it.
                   "I have to tell you something." I said. The worst thing anyone ever wants to hear.
                   "What's up." He sat down.
                  "I didn't do the project...I just forgot, I was gonna do it but then there was just so many things to do..well not really but I was gonna get to it I swear and I don't know I just—"
                  "Relax, I did it."
                  "Hold up..repeat that again?"
                  "I did it?"
                   "For reals?" That's the last thing I would think he would do..work.
                  "Why is it so hard to believe?"He laughed.
                  "No it's believable it's just like I thought we both just forgot or something."
                   "I didn't, cuz unlike you I actually do my work." Right when he said that I bursted out laughing. Which might have been a little rude but that's the funniest thing I've heard. HE does his work and I don't. After like a moment of me laughing I look up and I thought he would be laughing be he wasn't.
"Wow that was really funny Violet, I'm hilarious." He had no tone to his voice, he was obviously being sarcastic.
"I didn't mean it like that ok..I just always laugh at everything, well anyways what do you have." I said trying to change the subject.
                 "The life of Abraham Lincoln." He said as if he was serious.
                 "Ok? And how many slides."
                 "Uh 4."
                "Ok... and what's it about like specificly."
                 "His life......when he was a kid."
                 "Ok that's good. Sorry again for not being able to help or anything. You know since our study date was canceled."
"Oh yeah.."
"I'm also sorry about the Rachel thing." I've been doing very shitty things lately.
"Let's just..not talk about that." He said looking away from me.
"Yeah-yeah your right, Well can I see the slides."
He got out his laptop and we reviewed. I'm not gonna lie..this is the worst biography ever. You thought it was gonna he nice, nope. I just smiled up at him the whole time as I read it. I don't know how we're gonna present this. It's like a kindergarten wrote it. I obviously can't tell him that.
"It's good." I smiled the fakest smile ever. Maybe that's why I saw him studying yesterday, which was not stalkerish at all.
"I knew you'd like it. You know I basically just used google." He said as if he was proud of himself. Which you can tell he was.
"Really, I didn't even knoww." I smiled with my teeth which I never do.
"How bout I do all the work from now on." He laughed.
"Hah that's..a great idea." That's all I could say. I'm dumb.
"We should present first-"
"Nooo we really shoul-" It was to late she already called on him.
"Can we present first." He said. I honestly couldn't believe this. He usually doesn't wanna do work but now he's..different. Like he's trying to change.
"Um sure Dylan?just wait until I set up the view finder, so like in 5 minutes." She said surprised.
"Don't worry babe, we're so gonna get an A."
Yeah totally.

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