AfterMath

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"It's your fault!" Jason threw an accusing finger at me.

I smacked it away.

"How could you let him die like that?!" A tear snuck it's way down Jason's face.

I hated seeing him cry. Any of them. I wanted to relent. To stop this stupid argument. Alex is dead and it's all my fault.

"I didn't ask him to do it! I would never ask that of any of you!" I snarled baring my fangs. "I don't need to be protected!"

"Obviously!" Jason started pacing back and forth in front of Dumbledore's fire place.

He and Severus watched in silence from the other side of the room.

"And you!" Jason spat, "You're some sort of demon mutt! You never thought that might be important to mention!"

Gabby,Josh, and Allen sat quietly on the sofa. All looking like they wished they were invisible at worst. Somewhere else entirely at best. Gabby had tears streaming down her face, but she didn't make a sound.

"No! As a matter of fact I did not find it to be any of your business!" My voice rising with every word.

"We're your friends!"

"Friends?!" I let out a sarcastic laugh. "By friends do you mean you like that I let you spend my money, drive my cars to impress the woman of the week. The only reason you my friend is because it benefits you!" I pointed at him. "You think I don't know that it was dare from your quidditch buddies why the four of you started hanging around?!"

Jason had the decency to look sheepish. "That's not why we're friends."

"No." I straightened. "We're "friends" because you like my fancy things. We're "friends" because every time you need a place to crash after heaving drinking or a fight with your parents my door was always open!"

I hurt. I was angry in a way I never thought I would be. We were friends. The four of us. Because friends were always there for each other. They would have been there if I would have only asked. Alex was there and I never asked. He died for it. Maybe that's why I was always tried to convince myself that we weren't really friends. It was easier if they were just using me.

"Think what you like Ira." Jason's voice had died. "But we all cared."

With that he stalked from the room. Josh and Allen looked at me for a moment before walking out after him. Gabby lingered staring from me to the door.

"Just go Gabby." I ran a hand over my face. "They're going to need you."

She came up and hugged me. "I'm here if you need me too."

"Thanks Gabs." I hugged her tightly. "Take care of them."

She nodded heading out the door. I walked to the sofa sagging down into it.

"You've given us your report Miss Greyson. Go get some rest." Dumbledore set his hand gently on my shoulder.

I nodded vaguely. Severus lingered to talk to Dumbledore. He gave me a worried look as I exited.

I thumped down into Severus' desk chair. Salazar nuzzled his giant head into my lap. I stroked his wiry fur tears streaming down my face.

I felt his presence as he quietly entered the room. He stroked my hair trying to comfort me. I only sobbed harder.

He picked me up gently and carried me into his quarters. I heard water turn on. With a wave of his wand my dirty clothes landed on the floor.

The warm water relaxed my muscles enough to look up at him. His eyes were full of sorrow. I could see he was blaming himself for my tears.

First he washed my hair. Then he washed my body. The soft slow circular motion relaxing me a bit more. I would treasure these moments forever. His soft gentle touch. He kissed my forehead.

I watched with numb disinterest as blood swirled down the drain. Small nicks and cuts I hadn't even realized I'd gotten stitched themselves back together. Most of that is Alex's blood my mind told me.

I wanted to sleep. I was so tired. So tired of everything. Severus waved his wand again; I was dry in a pair of clean pajamas. He picked me up taking me to his room. He tucked me in under magic warm sheets.

I'm not sure when I fell asleep, but when I opened my eyes I was standing in my foyer. Alex was standing at the end of the hall. Alex?! My brain couldn't process what it was seeing.

"Alex?! You're ok?!?"

He didn't answer. He turned floating down the hall like some sort of phantom.

"Alex wait!" I reached out toward him.

He didn't turn. Didn't look back. He made zero indication that he could even hear me. I ran after him. The further I ran the further away he seemed to be.

Suddenly he was gone. I opened a great wolf door. A howling beast sprang out at me. It snapped and snarled. I didn't flinch though. I know this beast.

"Alex you have to control it!" The beast and I circled. "I know you can. I've seen you do it."

That made the beast pause for a moment.

"Come on Alex. Remember in the park? The first time you turned. Every instinct told you to tear me apart, but you didn't."

The world blurred and I was in a new room. Jason,Josh,Allen, and Alex were all laughing together. This is how it was supposed to be. Before me. They were all happy. All safe.

"Alex. I'm so sorry." None of them looked at me.

My eyes opened tear stained. Severus had a light hold on my shoulders calling my name.

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes. "What's wrong?"

"You were calling for Alex and kicking. I thought you might be having another nightmare."

I laid my head on his shoulder. "He did it for me Severus. He's gone now."

"I know." He stroked my hair as tears fell from my eyes again.

He held me like that all day. Letting me grieve my friend in peace. I appreciated that he didn't offer me false word of apology or any things happen for a reason bullshit.

There was something wrong though. I felt it in my gut. Alex's scent had been off. Not in a he's spent to much time around death eaters off or hadn't bathed in a month. It wasn't like he had picked up new scents from new surroundings. It was like it was Alex, but not Alex. I couldn't quite put my finger on it so I kept these thoughts to myself.

I stretched out on Severus' lap as he read a book drifting off into a dreamless sleep.

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