what kind of love is love?
the kind which aims to unite, not separate
causes you to think and act in ways you've never pictured yourself sinking to
in the next instant, uplifts
seizes you and grips relentlessly while you panic, attempt to battle your way out unsuccessfully
you must accept this love as is
although romantic, not the kind the french claim to have invented
nor the kind with candle lit dinners and soft embraces that a girl's dreams are used to
weird love
sometimes disguised as fear which labels you insecure, fickle self-centered, selfish, delusional pathetic
love that must acquire all these names in order to outstrip them
disgraceful, hostile, resentful, competitive abusive, shocking, sorrowful, heart-wrenching melancholy, accepting, soul-strengthening adventurous, patient, peaceful, pure
sacred
you grow to not require this love materially for it already thrives in spirit
nevertheless, don't doubt the duty to receive this love in form when it comes knocking on your gates
this love makes you curse the heavens which have honored you with this exalted blessing
it punishes you for submissiveness and then rewards you for submission
the love that bounces between freedom and dependency for it requires both
love that raises abilities but destroys the cozy niche of possessions you've dug for yourself
not the love that comforts you with a house cars, and a joint bank account but the kind that sparks awareness
not the love that is satisfied with compatibility comfort and pretense but rejoices at their destruction
love that is constantly developing and expanding but to what?
love that terrifies you with its demand for unyielding trust in the future
the kind that asks and tests and needs and drains but grants you joy as you continue giving
the kind that made one mystic say you crucified me, but i still love you
one fine day, this love may finally satisfy your pride and expectations but by then you will no longer have them
the love that ebbs and flows and ebbs and flows and finally engulfs
the love that remains when every other option has been exhausted
the kind that mocks you as you realize there may never be anything else but its exquisite self
you cannot win this love you can only surrender
already everything and nothing else
philia, éros, agápe
eternal, total, final
unconditional
true love
