• I'm Sorry • (BTS X SUICIDAL READER)

You laid in your bed trying to sleep. It seemed like you laid there for hours waiting for your parents to stop yelling. It was getting too loud so you put your headphones on trying to block out the yelling.
You were looking for a slow song so you could try to sleep.
After scrolling through a couple songs you decided to put on Butterfly by BTS.
You started to tear up just listening to it. Knowing BTS was your life but they'd never know that.
Finally after a couple of songs you fell asleep.
It felt as if you just fell asleep when your mom came to wake you up for school. You saw a bruise on her cheek.

"Mom what happened??"
I asked as I sat up.
"It's fine Y/n. Get ready for school."
I sighed and shook my head.
"No mom, it's not fine. I'm tired of him treating you like this. We need to stop acting like we are a perfect family all the time."
I said as my eyes started to swell with tears.
"Babe it's fine. Just get ready."
She said as she got up and walked out of my room.
I sighed and just let the tears run down my face.
As you can see life isn't so well at home. But once I get to school it's worse.

~time skip~
-at school-

You had your headphones on and listened to BTS to calm you. You walked into your class and waited for the bell to ring.
"Good morning class. Today we will be working in pairs."
You had 2 other friends in this class but they already paired up with each other.
"Y/n do you need a partner?" The teacher asked as she passed out the papers for the lab.
"Can I work alone?" You asked hoping she'll say yes.
"No. This is a two people lab."
You looked around the room looking for someone to be with.
"Ah, Damon do you not have a partner?" She asked.
"No but I don't wanna work with that freak." He said.
"Damon! Be nice. You will only have to work together for today."
You sighed and rolled your eyes as he walked over to you.
"Mrs, you know I'm gonna do all the work anyway, why not just let me be alone?"
"I know Y/n but you have to be with someone." The teacher said as she walked away.
You felt Damon pull on the sleeve to your BTS hoodie.
"Isn't this that gay group?" He asked.
You looked at him and rolled your eyes.
"They aren't gay and why do you care. Just shut up so I can do this."
But of course Damon doesn't shut up. He goes on about how weird and ugly you are. You felt your eyes get watery.
"Mrs, may I use the restroom?"
"Take a pass."
You run out off the classroom and try to hold your tears in until you get to the restroom.
'I don't understand why I'm not use to this by now. I know I'm stupid I know I'm ugly' you thought as you cried.
You cleaned yourself up and went back to the class only to see Damon searching through your backpack. You ran and tried to grab it from him.
"Wow what a suicidal fuck you are." He whispers as he puts the razor blade on the table.
You snatch it away before anyone can see.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?"
"You fucking weirdo. Just kill yourself alread-"
The bell cut him off. He walked out and you started crying.
'He's right... I should just kill myself already. It's not like anyone would care. Just an extra bedroom in the house. More money to save since I won't be there.' you were thinking.

~time skip~
-at home-

I ran into the bathroom and cried. I got the razors out of my bag and put them on the counter.
"YOU IDIOT. WHY DID I EVER MARRY YOU? YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING!"
I heard my father yelling at my mother again. I feel so bad for her. She doesn't deserve this asshole. Sometimes I feel like getting the gun and shooting him. But I also feel like shooting my mom instead so he can live in guilt the rest of his life.
I grabbed the razors and put it against my skin.
And there's the first cut.
I've never cut before today. Sure I've always thought about it but I was always too afraid.
I let out a deep sigh. That didn't hurt at all. It actually felt kinda nice.
I cut again
And again. This time on my thighs. I sat in the bathtub and just let the blood pour down my arms and legs.

*Knock knock*
"Y/n?"
"What do you want?"
It was your dad.
"Come out of the bathroom now."
You stood up and tried to clean yourself up quick but the only thing you could use was your BTS hoodie.
You walked out of the bathroom and faced your dad.
"What do you want?"
You asked trying to hide your bloody hoodie.
Your dad looked at you deeply.
"How the fuck did something this ugly come from me? You need to stop obsessing over little Asian girls."
Wow just what I expected. Him being a dick as usual. I don't care if he calls me ugly. I know I am. But once you mess with Bangtan it hurts me.
"Why do you have to be such a bitch?" You asked him.
He scoffed and looked you.
"Since when did a little bitch like you start cussing?"
You started crying and ran to your room. Your arms felt sore from cutting. You went onto YouTube and tried to calm yourself by watching Bangtan Bombs.
After a couple of hours you fell asleep.

*Ding*
You woke up to a YouTube notification from Bighits channel. You clicked on it to see what it was.

:BANGTAN SONYEONDAN DISBANDMENT
ELDEST MEMBER KIM SEOKJIN (진) ENLISTMENTS FOR MILITARY IN 2 DAYS:

You start to cry.
"Why is it so soon? They have helped me so much."
You cried into your pillow.
They were your only reason to live. You got up and put your jacket on and hid your cuts. You slipped out your bedroom window.
Tonight is the night you're gonna end it all. There's too many screams in your head.
You walk to a bridge that's under construction.
You stand at the edge for a little and let the breeze hit you.
You lean forward to your death.
But you feel something tug you backwards.