The Cliff

Bleed My Heart Out

The forest seemed dark and impregnable in the moon light. There was nothing to look out of car window except the moon, which had begun its descent. It would be another hour and a half before the sun came out. My eyes tracked its way back to Alpha Cade. He looked wild. I tried very hard to look away, to ignore what was going on in the car. Disgusting!

Alpha Cade had tied me down and threw me on the passenger side of his car an hour after he made me burst, made me want him. The intensity of that emotion had messed so much with my mind that I couldn't think straight, so I did what I do every time he makes me feel something - I made a run for it; in hindsight, a really stupid mistake. It was a desperate effort to get away from Alpha Cade, who at that time was busy taking to Alpha West. And I would have slipped away had my wolf not turned on me.

She made me realise that she didn't care for our revenge. For years, I had felt her in the back of my mind, refusing to surface, pining for her mate. I had left her alone, hoping that she would come around one day when I would need her the most. What a pile of bull shit!

Feeling the rope binding my legs and arms, I was transported back to the moment on the cliff. At least he had cared back then, now he was treating me like a culprit. Funny thing was my wolf acting all fucking sorry and trying to rub herself all over him. I despised her.

"Please, forgive me my Alpha," she whined. His fingers clenched the steering wheel tighter. He was losing control. It was a good thing that he had not spoken to me a single word after I made a run for it. Just hauled me on his shoulder, pulled out a rope from his car like he had expected me to run and tying me up was the natural solution. I was not ready to talk to him; didn't feel I would ever be ready for it. But my wolf had to stop whining and nagging him if the silence was be preserved.

"Please tell me how I can make amends. I will do anything." I cursed at her in my head. This bitch needed to calm herself.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

I tried again to get back some control from her. But she did not budge.

"Anything?" came his velvety reply.

I was about 5 or 6 when I saw my parents fight in front of me for the first time. Normally they kept their bickering from me. But that day, when we were on our way to a pack gathering, my father had flipped over something. It was something trivial but at that time they made a huge issue out of it. My father got so angry that he had to step away from us and take a breather. Being the impatient female she was, my mother went after him with me in tow. That day I had watched the wonder of mate bond in wolves. She had called out his name but he refused to even look at her. The immediate next second he turned around and pulled her to him. It was his wolf, whining about the stupidity of his human. And then they had a lengthy discussion about how my father did not appreciate his mate enough.

Somehow, I felt that the twisted version of that moment was happening to me.

"Yes,"she whispered. I understood that she needed him but I still felt betrayed.

"What did she accomplish in these eight years that she couldn't have accomplished with me?" he spoke slowly. His voice hollow; neither broken nor sad, just empty, almost like he didn't really care for her answer. The question pulled at my heart. What did I accomplish? I had gathered few people who were ready to dig deeper into Alpha Blake -- on the verge of breakthrough but not there yet. Maya didn't say it but I had a feeling that we were stuck in a rut for the last six months.

My wolf was quiet for some time. I fought hard against her but to no avail. If she as much as hinted at what I had been doing, I would drink wolfsbane for the rest of my life.