To Slow a Treacherous Heart ✓

32| The Tell-Tale Heart

Date Published: Thursday, May 23rd, 2019
Chapter Thirty Two: The Tell-Tale Heart

      September 2018

     Sunlight filtered through the half open dark coloured blinds, highlighting the the cozy Brazilian nut painted walls.

Sarah always liked her room to be bright enough for light, but dark enough for comfort. Always a series of checks and balances with her. Everything had to be clockwork.

The room was designed in a way to promote comfort rather than accessibility. Three out of four walls were painted, the fourth was a intricately bricked Victorian masterpiece. She'd gotten a really good contractor for that. A bookshelf lined that fourth wall, filled with—no, not psychology reference books; she had enough of those at home —her favourite story books. She loved to read. She never believed any of them, neither did she have any romance novels on her shelf, but that didn't stop her from reading them. Long ago life had taught her that fairy tales weren't real—and that dreams didn't come true. If you wanted something you had to work for it, and pray that you get it.

The furniture in the room was sparse, but enough. A wooden coloured coffee table lay in the middle of the room. There was a lounge chair for herself, and a large two seater sofa for her patients —sometimes she had couples. But her latest patient, Maybelle Summers, had decided that two seater sofas were extremely convenient foot stools as well. Sarah didn't mind. She had long since trained herself to find comfort in the little things that her patients found comfort in. This was the room she'd put everyone else's needs before her own. Besides, May needed an unemotionally attached friend more than a therapist. One who had no inkling—nor involvement— of her past. And what she had to say; well, it was nothing short of astounding.

"Wow," Sarah said, her hands falling to her knees. "That is the craziest story I have ever heard. And trust me, I have had total whack jobs come in here."

"I'm sorry, but have you watched Jane the Virgin?"May replied. She liked Sarah, and her office felt more like a sitting room than a therapists room. Her favourite thing in the room were the framed quotes on the wall. The best were the ones that said, 'My therapist told me that best way to achieve inner piece is to always finish what I start. So far I've finished both the MnM packets I started a few minutes ago and I'm feeling great!' And, ' Mental strength is not the ability to stay out of the darkness; it is the ability to sit within the darkness and know that the light will shine again,'

"In real life." Sarah deadpanned. "But I think we've finally come to —how do you say it la piéce de resestance— haven't we?"

May gave her a frown. "That's not even mildly amusing," she said.

Sarah immediately coloured. "Sorry, didn't mean it like that hayati." She said before adding, "That was extremely unprofessional of me,"

May sighed, "It's alright Sarah. Just a little too soon."

"So, what next?"

"Honestly? I have no clue." May replied, "physically, I'm doing alright. Pricilla got me a job at a local preschool that agreed to have me if I could attain a teaching degree within a year and I've applied to the nearest community college. There's a good chance I might not get in because the semester has already started, but my high school grades were really good and I think I did pretty well on the entrance tests. Fingers crossed, you know?" She said, crossing her index and middle finger. Then she brightened, "Jason is doing pretty well actual. In fact, he's drawing again. When we were kids, he used to love doing it, but after everything he just lost hope in everything he liked, you know? And I feel like he's finally getting back to normal. I'm so glad."

"And emotionally?"

"Just trying to keep all the nightmares at bay, honestly."

"And why is that?"

"It feels like everything that happened too me has just destroyed everything good, you know?" She shrugged, unable to get the words out. "I just-I just feel like I've lost hope,"

Sarah stared at May for five seconds straight.

Always think before you speak.

She made a decision. "Okay, so I'm going to give you a bit of unsolicited, unprofessional advice."

May was intrigued. Sarah was almost never purposefully unprofessional. She leaned in. "Go on,"

Sarah cleared her throat. Then she cleared it again. "Hope. It's something really fickle. When disaster strikes, it always seems to flail. And that has sent some  of the strongest of people spriraling into pools of depression." She started.

Here she paused, as though she wanted May to absorb what she had said before she revealed the next chunk of information. "But there's one thing that has always made me constant in my belief in hope. And that's my faith. As a Muslim, I believe that every single thing around me happens for a reason. And that God is leading you somewhere." At May's confused expression, she paused. "Think of it like this. When Cinderella had to live in a servant in her own house, it probably felt obnoxiously horrid, sah?"

"I guess, yeah."

"But all her trials were leading to her crowning as a princess. And soon to be queen,"

May laughed. "Only you would completely ignore the fact she married a handsome prince,"

Sarah waved her hand dismissively. "Means to an end,"

May chuckled. "The day you fall in love Sarah.." she trailed.

Sarah rolled her eyes. "Hell shall freeze over. And I know, for a fact that that's never going to happen." Her face then turned serious. "Just like Cinderella—please ignore my cliché choice of examples—you're on a path. And I have faith that the end will justify the means."

"So you believe that everything happens for a reason,"

"I have many beliefs, but yes that is one of them," she said. "I believe that right now things may suck on a molecular level," May laughed. "But, a few years from now—heck maybe a few months from now, you'll remember this part of your life and be thankful for it. Because it made you who you are. And certain choices you make in the future will be affected by what you went through—and you would never have been able to make such choices without this experience. Everything happens for a reason,"

May smiled. "Thanks for the unsolicited advice Sarah,"

"Queen of the unprofessional, right?" Sarah laughed.

May's smile only widened. " I have faith I'll be okay. One day," she whispered.

Sarah's eyes twinkled. "Inshallah, so do I, May. So do I."

****
Next Update: Sunday, May 2019