Almost is Never Enough (L X Reader X Light)

Chapter 12: If Only You Knew

You weren't sure how he did it. But, undeniably it was him, and it was very possible. All he needed was a name. He was just letters away from finding out L's. You were honestly surprised he hadn't asked you to find out L's name prior to this. Maybe he thought L wouldn't trust you enough. Maybe Light didn't trust you enough. That's why you had to keep playing this game.

Light told you to do whatever means necessary to figure out his name. Even getting physical. He told you to make L trust you in ways he has never trusted someone before. Sometimes you had wondered if somehow Light had fallen in love with you. But, that thought was shattered when Light commanded you to make L love you. Light was purely motivated by his own wants and needs. Just like you had been once before.

You never told L of Lights intentions. You didn't want to involve him in this moral dilemma more than he needed to be. The more he knew the more danger he was in. Maybe protecting L was your way of redemption. If one good thing came from your wrong doings maybe it'd all be worth it.

L is smart, but ignorant. He knows his books and his logistics and how things should work out. That is if only the world was as predictable as it is on paper. How could L defeat a man with a book that could kill people? What logic does that make? How could L understand somethings so understandable. Even if you did explain, would it really change the outcome?

You thought about it as you sat next to him. Since that night you spoke of running away he had turned his attention away from the Kira situation. Despite his ignorance he still seemed to understand what was not spoken. He knew you knew more than you were saying. He knew you weren't saying it for a reason.

He trusted you.

And, if it were up to Light he would be dead by now. Maybe that's why he trusted you. He wasn't dead. And neither were you.

Your hand found his. Gripping him tightly you gave him a faint smile.

"You're the only person able to confuse me like this." L admitted "it scares me"

"You confuse me too." You confess. "I think that's why I like you." This was the closest thing to the truth you could think of. L didn't confuse you the way Light did. He confused you because you couldn't define him, and he couldn't define you. Something just felt right between you both.

"What is it you want in this life?" L asks you genuinely. "What was this long journey of yours for?"

"I'm not sure." Your voice was soft.

"I guess that's what most of life is." L adds "not really knowing what we're doing."

"Maybe that's the point if it all then. To figure out what we want, and why we want it." You smile. L has helped you figure out what you wanted. Something bigger than yourself.

"I want you." L says "I thought I wanted Kira. I thought I wanted to solve all the problems in the world. But, as I grew closer to it, you tore me away."

"I did." You acknowledge. L could have forced you to tell him Light was Kira. L could have forced you to do a lot of things. Then he could have punished you. He could have made you pay for what you've done.

"I'm glad you did."

"So am I." You lean in and kiss L gently. Your lips danced with his. You're sure L had never kissed anyone before. Even now he was sloppy with no rhyme or reason.

"Do you think this will work?" L asks breathless through your mouth.

"Yes." You lie.

All the earthly troubles that consumed you both crumbled in comparison to this moment. You both stood up, still connected at the lips. L pushed you back into the wall behind you. You grabbed the back of his neck pulling him closer. Both your bodies inched towards his bedroom. Once your reached the door L opened it and you pulled him in. You began to undress him and yourself. Once you were both exposed L stopped kissing you. He rested his forehead against yours.

"___." He said breathlessly.

"Yes?"

"How do we stop him?" L asks. No more need for theatrics. No more need for secrets. L wanted to know how this could all be over. He needed to know how he could have you.

"I have an idea." You tell him.

"What do I need to do?" He begged to know. You press your lips against his once more. Then you pull away and look into his eyes.

"Leave it all to me." You assure him. This only did the opposite.

"You can't do this alone." L argued. You shook your head. If only he knew what he was up against. You wish you had the answers. Sometimes you weren't sure if the answer even excited.

"I'm not alone." You whisper. "I have you."

You pull L to the bed and lay him down. He did not protest any longer. You wrap you legs around him and mount him. In that moment and for the very first time you felt complete.