Irrefutable Certainties

Chapter 3~ Fighting a Losing Battle

Draco POV

Hermione and I walk into the house and take off our coats, "Are you planning on going into the office this afternoon?"

She avoids looking at me, "Probably. The kids aren't home anymore, so I don't have any reason to stay here and do nothing all day."

Her words sting more than they should. We both know the main reason that we're still together is because of the kids, but that doesn't make her words any less hurtful. There was a time I'd go crazy if I didn't see Hermione for more than a day. Now we live in the same house and it seems like we go all week without seeing each other. We both work late during the week when the kids are in school. Maybe we're avoiding each other. I don't know. We always seem to have a new excuse for spending more time at our jobs.

"You could take the whole day off and spend the day with me. Let's go see a movie, we haven't been out in a while," I offer. "I took the whole day off incase something was forgotten so I could send it right away. Plus, I'm really interested to see if Rose actually got her phone to work at Hogwarts or not. She's been working on that spell forever."

"The kids aren't here, Draco," Hermione walks away into the kitchen, "you don't have to pretend like we're the perfect couple anymore."

I shoot her a guarded look, so she can't tell how much that hurt me, "I was hoping that we could try to get back to that. Especially with the new one coming. We haven't even discussed names yet."

"We can name it whatever you want," Hermione pulls out the ingredients to make a sandwich. "I named the last one."

"We didn't get to use that name..."

Hermione looks at me for the first time since the kids left with tears pooling in her eyes, "Who says we're going to get to use the name you pick out for this one?"

I engulf Hermione in my arms, "Don't say that. We're going to do everything we can to make sure that doesn't happen again."

"I going to lose this one just like I lost the last one. I know it," She cries into my chest. "And then I'm going to lose you too. I might as well pack up my things and find a flat now. Save us all the trouble. And this way the kids aren't home to see it happen again. They can process everything at school."

I pull Hermione in closer, "You're not going anywhere. Neither is the baby. Everything is going to be fine, I won't let you go again."

"You'd have more time with your secretary," Hermione snaps as she pushes away from me.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know exactly what it means, Draco," Hermione finally makes eye contact and there's a fire in her eyes that only comes out when she's ready to fight. "You think I don't hear the roomers?"

"I can't believe you would ever believe that," I snap. "I made you a promise when we got married to always be faithful. And I'm not in the game of breaking promises."

She lets out a chuckle, "You promised me forever as well, but the divorce papers in the safe tell me you're breaking that promise."

"The divorce papers you had drawn up? The divorce papers that you signed so fast I swore you had been waiting to be free for years? The divorce papers that I never signed?" I poor myself a drink, "I promised you forever, but I also promised that I would do anything to make you happy. I just never thought that I wouldn't be what made you happy. Not after this long."

"You stopped trying to make me happy a long time ago, Draco."

"You stopped giving me opportunities to make you happy. Every time I tried to take you out you cancelled. Every time I got you flowers to make you happy you complained that they took up space on your desk. Every time I made any sort of effort you shot it down so fast. Of course, I gave up trying after a while," I take a swig of my fire-whiskey. "It never seemed like anything I did was good enough for you. Sometimes I feel like I'm still apologizing for being Perceus."

"Maybe you still are."

"That's not fair..."

"We haven't been happy together for years, Draco. You know that. We started this relationship with lies. That's no way to start a marriage!" Hermione's hands are shaking and all I can do is watch as she tries to keep all of her emotions from flooding out of her. "We were in a relationship for months that was tangled in a web of lies. I turned a blind eye and sat back. Surely I wouldn't hop from one lie filled relationship to another."

"How dare you compare me to him! I have worked so hard to make everything up to you. I have begged for your forgiveness. I may have lied to you, but it was to protect the both of us. I wasn't sneaking around behind your back to have a side piece," I take another swig of my drink. "I can't believe, after all of these years, you would have the audacity to pick me on the same level as Ron."

Something flashes in Hermione's eyes as she waves her wand. I think for a moment that she's trying to hit me with something but then I see an envelope flying towards her open hand. "If you're so pissed about it, sign the damned papers and let's call it quits. There's not point in pretending anymore. Our fighting that we tried so hard to hide from the kids has finally come out. Our children are far from stupid, Draco, they know things aren't right between us. We haven't been happy together in so long."

"I'm not signing those papers, Hermione," I growl. "I'm not letting you go that easily. We have a baby on the way, and I'll be damned if I let that child be born to parents who are divorced. I told you when we got married there was only one way we would get out of this, and that's if one of us ended up in the grave."

"We're not in love anymore, Draco! It's unfair of us to bring a child into this world with two parents who are only together rout of obligation."

I pause and stare at her, "You don't love me anymore?"

"Draco, we both know the kids have been the only thing holding us together. We don't know how to be married without kids anymore." Hermione shakes her head. "We planned for everything when we first got married, but we never thought of what would happen to us once the kids were at school. We never thought about what would happen if we lost a child."

"That doesn't mean I don't love you. Why do you think I have been fighting so hard to keep us together? I love you Hermione. I always have. But apparently I've been fighting a losing battle for years." I hold back all of my emotions as I reach for the envelope, "I'm not going to force you to stay in a relationship with someone you don't love. I'm sorry for being so selfish." I pull the papers out of the envelope and flip to where the sticky note is and pause. "I'm sorry I couldn't keep you happy."