Irrefutable Certainties

Chapter 5 ~ Always Been One of Two

Selene P.O.V

"Just leave it be, Rose," I snap at my older sister, "don't you have bigger things to worry about besides whether I go to practice or not?"

Rose rolls her eyes, "I need to make sure you're okay, you are my little sister after all."

I shake my head, "Half-sister," I correct. "I am fine, I just want to have a life and apparently everyone thinks that's the worst thing in the world."

"We don't think it's the worst thing, we are worried because you're acting out of character."

"No, I'm figuring out who I am outside of quidditch. I have been expected to play quidditch and hang out with Neville and Scorpius my whole life," I shake my head. "It's like if I do anything for myself I'm a monster and letting everyone down."

Rose puts her hand on my knee to comfort me, "I understand where you're coming from. Have you tried to explain this to Scorpius and Neville? Or maybe stepping down as head keeper. Let Amari train as head keeper so you can figure things out. Then the team isn't grasping for a keeper and you can have more free time."

I steel myself and meet Rose's gaze, "What if all I am is one of Scorpius and Selene? What if all I am is the head keeper for Slytherin and I give away my position? All I've ever been is Selene Malfoy, daughter of Draco and Hermione Malfoy, partial heir to the Malfoy riches. I don't know how to be just Selene."

Rose gives me a warm smile that reminds me of Grandma Weasley, "I may not have grown up with the name Malfoy, but I did grow up with the same mother, and I know what it's like to carry her last name. It's tough feeling like you're always only going to be who you're related to, but you need to stop thinking of yourself as those things before others will stop seeing you like that. Does that make sense?"

I nod my head and place it on my older sister's shoulder, "Thank you, Rosie."

"So, besides your identity crisis, how has your first week of classes been?"

I shrug, "Same old, it's nice to know that no matter what, Hogwarts will always remain the same."

"I remember the few weeks before your first year you were a total mess."

I chuckle, "Well yeah, what if I would have been put in a different house than Neville and Scorpius? What if I had to play against them in Quidditch?"

"Everything worked out though," Rose has a fond smile on her face. "I secretly wished you would have been put in Ravenclaw with me though. Imagine all the fun we could have had."

"I actually would have been okay with that I think," I sigh, "but I don't think I would have played quidditch. It would have been too hard to play against them, y'know?"

There's a few moments of comfortable silence while we both think about what could have been before I finally speak up, "I heard a rumor that you and Lyra got into a fist fight. What was that all about?"

Rose sighs, "Lyra and I have always had our differences. That fight was a long time coming."

"I never remember you guys actually physically fighting," I study my older sister. "You always shared some choice words, but you never got physical. So, what happened?"

"I said some things that I shouldn't have, but when she tries to throw in my face that I didn't grow up in the manor with you guys," she sighs, "it's hard for me to not shoot low."

"It's not like she didn't deserve it. She left us."

Rose looks off into the distance, "What's so different between Lyra leaving you guys and me leaving my father?"

I pause for a moment, "You left a house that you never felt at home in with a never-ending slew of step moms coming through the door and came to a home where you are loved and appreciated." I squeeze my hand on my knee, "Lyra left her loving family to live with a mother that didn't want her and left her."

"I guess, I just feel bad that she catches so much flack for it. I mean, I know I've never gotten along with her, but still. I know what it's like to make the decision to leave the house you grew up in to find more happiness with different people."

Later that night I lay in bed and think back on all that had happened. Why am I struggling so much with who I am? I have always been one of two. I don't know life without Scorpius, but I know I won't live with him forever. There's going to come a day that we will have to have our own lives. Why does that scare me so much? I sigh and get out of bed and head to the common room. The Slytherin common room has an interesting vibe to it. But I have always found it comforting. The green and silver furniture has a cold but calm feeling to it. It is not warm, loud, and cozy like the red in the Gryffindor common room. And it doesn't have the quiet library feel of the Ravenclaw common room. No, it is noble and calm, but it feels like home to me. The moment I walked into the Slytherin common room for the first time I instantly felt calm wash over me. Some people were freaked out about the windows opening out to look under the water in the lake. But I find it fascinating to look out at all the underwater creatures that swim past our window. I settle into a plush green arm chair that looks out the window. You can feel the chill coming from the window, but I know better than to come here without a blanket of some kind.

"You're up late, Malfoy," I hear from a voice behind me. "You know we still have classes tomorrow, right?"

I shift in my chair to see who it is and roll my eyes. Kylar Gallucio is the stereotypical Slytherin bad boy. He really gives us a bad name, which is saying a lot, considering well, you know who all else has been in Slytherin. "The same could be said for you, Gallucio. That is if you actually ever went to classes," I scoff.

"I may not go to class, but I still manage to pass, don't I?"

"Sure, because you blackmail people into doing your work for you." I turn back towards the window. "What're you doing here anyways? Don't you normally sneak out around this time to go hook up with whats-her-face from Hufflepuff?"

Kylar shakes his head, "Why does it bother you so much, Malfoy? I didn't think you paid enough attention to anyone that isn't your family or on the quidditch team."

"It bothers me because I'm trying to get some peace and quiet and you interrupted. And I notice more than you give me credit for. I am Hermione Granger's daughter after all." So much for not automatically pulling the relation card. That didn't even last a day. Sorry Rose.

"Right, the great detective that didn't even know she was dating a dead man," Gallucio perches himself lazily on the window sill. "How are mommy and daddy these days? I heard congratulations are in order." He conjures an apple and takes a bite out of it. "With the new baby on the way I guess that means your dad won't have as much time to spend with his secretary, huh Malfoy?"

I sneer, "You don't know jack shit, Gallucio. So back off."

He shrugs and tosses his apple to me, "Suit yourself. I'm going to head into Hogsmead. Have fun in classes tomorrow, let me know how they go."

"Why don't you just go and find out for yourself."

"What's the fun in that?"

I pause, "What do you mean you're heading into Hogsmead? How would you... You know what, nevermind. I don't want to know."

"Yes you do. Why don't you join me? I'll buy you a drink if you'd like," Kylar shoots me a daring smile. "C'mon, Malfoy, what is one late night in Hogsmead going to hurt you?"

I size him up, "Just my reputation."

"Who cares?" Kylar offers me his hand. "Live on the edge, Malfoy."

"You're insane."

"Quite possibly."