He Didn't Say A Word [bxb]

12

"Yo, I didn't know you and Marston were like a ... thing" Shawn said to me as I walked into work from Blaine's truck.
I nodded my head in his direction, and then went back to my Road Runner.

"So your like, gay, right?" He pressed, and I shrugged. I truly didn't know.

Work dragged on until the end of the day. I headed home, still with a fuzzy feeling inside of me.
But soon as it started, it was gone. I realized I was putting too much into Blaine and I too soon, and I got angry with myself.

No no no no no no I thought, I wouldn't let anger be apart of me anymore.
I tried to fight it off, and calm myself down, but nothing worked.

My frame shook and I squeezed my eyes shut.
Looking in the mirror, my eyes looked like they were set on fire. Not normal fire, Hell fire. A brilliant green blaze behind them.

I felt the rage rise within seconds, and my body couldn't handle it any longer. Everything went black.

------

I snapped my eyes open to find myself on the floor of the bathroom. I was immediately disgusted and confused.

Then I felt it. The pain in my hand. Looking down, I found the bruised and cut knuckles. I watched as the blood collected halfway down my arm then dripped onto the floor.

I moved my arm to see the cause. Glass was shattered and had fallen all over the floor. It was the mirror.
My eyes burned when I opened them all the way. I stared at myself through the pieces of the mirror left behind. The green had vanished but my eyes were bloodshot.

I washed my hand and arm and then bandaged myself up. I swept and cleaned the floor, but left the mirror where it was. I barely had the energy to even try to lift it off the wall.

------

Sleeping was easy that night as I was already exausted.
I needed the anger to stop.

The morning was bleak. Blaine called my apartment phone and I didn't answer. I couldn't handle seeing him after last night. I was embarrassed.

All of my memories started blurring together, I couldn't tell what was what. Every time I closed my eyes, I had a memory playing behind them, but I could never understand what was happening.

I could barely focus at work, and it was making my head spin.

"You don't look so good, Blue, why don't you head on home" Todd told me with a concerned look upon his face.
I nodded, and prepared myself to leave, when Blaine came through the door of the body shop.

"Hey Todd" he said, and Todd waved him over to me.
He walked over, and I held up a finger so he wouldn't start talking yet. I pulled him out through the backdoor.

"What the fuck happened to your hand?" He asked. I hadn't realized, but the wounds bled through the bandages.
I shrugged, and just stared at him waiting for him to speak.

"Are you okay? Because I feel like somethings up, or maybe I'm just dumb and..." I hugged him, holding him close. I felt the sting of tears come to my eyes.

Blaine wrapped his arms around me, and comforted me. My tears stained his navy blue shirt.

"shhh it's okay, Killian" his voice was soft and comforting, "talk to me" he said, and released me from his arms.

"Can we talk about this tomorrow" I said, nearing a whisper.  Blaine nodded and kissed my forehead, he then left in his truck as I walked home.

------

I hated the feeling that I was dumping all of my emotional bullshit on Blaine, but he wouldn't let me live with it.

"Please Killian?" He said as he was cooking dinner on the stove.

I shook my head and continued to set the table.

"Look, I know you don't wanna 'burden' me or whatever, but I want to know what happened, whether you like it or not ... Here, try this"

He came over to me with a spoon which had a little bit of sauce on the end. I tried it and nodded as he went back to cooking.

"So please, trust me"
I could hear the longing in his voice. He sounded as if his ego had been shot.

I pondered for a moment, then sighed. He was right, I mean, I had basically already opened him up to the biggest thing in my life.

"I punch- shattered a mirror" I corrected myself.

"Okay ... why?" He pressed. The whole reason I got angry was because I was being too open with Blaine, but every time I was around him it was like my words spilled out into his hands.

I exhaled slowly, "I was angry, and blacked out".
I felt small bubbles of the very rage that got me here in the pit of my stomach, but looking at Blaine calmed me down.

"Has it happened before?"

"The night my mother died. I didn't remember what had happened till a few weeks after"
I sighed and moved beside him to watch him finish cooking.

"I'm glad you're talking to me about it Killian" I nodded as he turned off the stove and prepared the meal on our plates.