Meeting the waud twins

October 18, 2018

Birthday and Sadness
So in the past two weeks, basically what happened was, I went to a football game ( literally the day after I had my swim meet and me and Tyler started dating) and I hung out with Tyler and got my first hug from him, nothing more, (no holding hands or kisses) and the next week, on a Thursday (1 week exactly after getting together with Tyler) I had another swim meet that he came to, there was also some kind of health science academy thing that night after my swim meet (also at the second swim meet that Tyler came to we had my schools famous "youngquist burgers" and a little "potluck" thing where we brought cookies and stuff and btw a youngquist burger is just a hamburger that my swim coach makes after some of the home swim meets and they are famous in my school because they are so amazing) but anyways, Tyler met my parents which was awkward cause I was getting changed after my swim meet had finished when he met them and then after my swim meet and everything was done I went to the health science thing with Tyler and after that I got a hug. And yeah. So anyways.. October 18th... my 16th birthday! One of the most exciting things for a girl. So that day I got a present from Tyler (which I still have in my room😐) and a few of my friends said happy birthday to me and it was a pretty good day (I never had a sweet 16 party like I hoped to have but I guess it's whatever now) but I had hoped that I would at least get a happy birthday from my old best friend trinity and a happy birthday from Levi because trinity know when my birthday was because she had been my best friend for year and Levi was a good friend of mine so I hoped he would at least say happy birthday to me but neither of them did. In fact... only a little while before my birthday, Trinity had walked right passed me and even bumped into me but seemed to have acted like I wasn't there at all so basically I fell into some kind of depressed spiral where whenever I was in my fourth period with trinity and Levi, I wouldn't be able to focus on anything at all even if I tried and I just wrote a bunch of sad letter that I think I have crammed in my desk drawer somewhere and if I wasn't thinking about some thoughts that seemed really depressing, I was thinking about the twins and how much I wanted to meet them and how much I wanted them to know how happy they made me because even in my "depressed" time, they made me smile (I say depressed with quotes because it wasn't a clinical diagnosis of depression, and i don't know if it was as bad as real depression and I know that depression is not a joke but I legit had some really sad thoughts of like being invisible and worthless and stuff... yeah it wasn't exactly the best time for me) but I actually have like a seasonal depression where I need sunlight and if I don't get enough sunlight like in winter when there's less daylight hours then I won't really be the happiest obviously but yeah, there were some quite upsetting things that happened during the school days but my birthday was pretty great overall. I went out for my birthday dinner and I brought Caitlynn with me instead of Tyler because Caitlynn is my best friend and I didn't want to have fun and have Tyler with me then have us break up and that just make my birthday a sad day so yeah.