The Hybrid Whisperer KTH+JJK

Fifteen

A/N OMG guys! 1000+ reads in a week? I purple you guys so hard!

Taehyung didn’t sleep much that night. His father’s funeral was the next day and dread lay heavy in his gut, denying him the peace of sleep. He got up when the steely light of dawn seeped in through his narrow window. He rubbed his gritty eyes, swollen and sore from bouts of crying.

He hung his dress shirt on it’s hanger in the bathroom while he stepped under the warm spray of the shower. He didn’t have an iron, so he just had to hope the steam would sort out the worst of the wrinkles. He stayed in the shower longer than needed, the warmth of the water a weak substitute for the human connection he so desperately craved.

He completed his morning routine mechanically, got dressed, made his bed, opened his laptop cup in hand before he realised that there was nothing on the laptop to do. He didn’t really do social media. He didn’t have classes. He didn’t have friends. He didn’t have family. He had a funeral. He slowly closed the laptop and put it back in it’s case. And then he put his head into his hands and sank into his misery.

He missed his bun. Oh god. He pressed his hands to the ache in his chest where all his loss lived. He missed him so much. But Jeongguk wasn’t his. He was Namjoon’s. And even if he wasn’t, Taehyung couldn’t have him. Not the way he truly wanted him.

So he sat on his bed and stared into nothing, a kind of numb spreading over him as he waited out the minutes until it was time to leave.

He went to the funeral and sat near the back. He listened to people talk about his father, what a great man he was, beloved husband, doting father, steadfast friend, wily businessman, philanthropist, the pretty lies and half truths one told out of respect for the dead.

He was about to leave when someone called his name.

“Taehyung?”

Taehyung’s numbing shield shattered into a million shards of regret and guilt. “Jaehyun.”

“Oh my god. I thought that was you.” Why did he sound so ...so normal?

“I can’t do this.” He muttered, turning to walk out.

“Taehyung. Taehyung wait.” A strong hand gripped his arm.

“I can’t. I can’t be here.” He pulled away, feeling the onset of panic, making him weak and shaky.

“Hyung, please.” Tae squeezed his eyes closed and shook his head.

“What do you want, Jaehyun? I said I was sorry. I left. I left so that you could stay. I even did the damn therapy. Every minute of it."

He could still hear his doctor's voice, telling him his desires were  wrong, unnatural. That he was just young and confused. That his love was toxic.

"I was wrong. I’m wrong. I know that. I can’t take it back. I can’t make it better.” He begged for understanding.

“No, no, Tae. I was wrong. God. I was so wrong. I was a stupid kid and I was scared and I cried wolf and it fucked everything up. And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I wanted to tell you so many times but you left and I didn’t know where you went. So I’m sorry, hyung.” Jaehyun grabbed his shoulders and looked earnestly into his eyes but Taehyung couldn’t understand.

“What?” The word barely audible.

“I lied, Tae. I-” He gave a humourless laugh. “Damn, this is harder than I thought. I lied. To my father. To you. To everyone. You didn’t... I wanted you. That night. All the nights. I wanted you. I was in love with you. God, I was so in love with you. I was stupid in love with you. Had been from almost the moment we met. But we got caught and I panicked. My father... You knew what he was like. I thought he’d kill me. Hell he almost did a couple of times. So I lied. And I’m more sorry than you could ever know.” He tried to pull Tae into his arms but the elder ripped himself away, stumbling back as the words sank into his already grief addled mind.

“What?” He whispered, aghast.

“Tae, please...”

“You ...what? You lied? How could you do that to me?”

Jaehyun opened his mouth to reply but Taehyung cut him off, fury rising, swamping all the other things that hurt so much, pain, guilt, grief, regret. It felt good, it felt right and empowering and he embraced it.

“And now you’re what? You’re sorry? Like that's going to make it all better? You told them I raped you. You told them I found you drunk, took advantage, forced myself on you. You...  You..." Words turned to ash in the fire of his rage.  "Everyone believed you. I believed you! I've spent the last three years hating myself because I'd raped my best friend. My father died believing that! But that's ok because you're sorry!" His voice steadily rose to a hoarse shout as he took aggressive steps toward the now visibly fearful younger man until they were chest to chest.

"Well you know what, Jaehyun? Fuck your sorry!” He snarled, shoving the boy he’d once loved from him.

“Taehyung!” He closed his eyes at his mother’s voice, a hysterical laugh bubbling up unbidden.

All he was supposed to do was keep his head down, be quiet, be respectful. That’s all she’d asked of him and here he was in the middle of a full blown diva moment, about to be the outcast gay son who caused a scene at his father’s funeral by getting into a fight with his ex and to top it all off, now he couldn’t stop laughing. Or was it crying? He couldn’t tell anymore. It all felt the same. Overwhelming.

He slapped a distraught hand over his mouth and fled.

A/N So now we know what Tae's deal is. And trust me I hate Jaehyung just as much as you.

Anyways, welcome to angst town, cos things are going to get worse before they get better, sorry.

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