Chapters: Stories on Sean & Kaycee

Let Go Part 1

To say that Sean was surprised to find Laura Rice waiting for him outside of class was an extreme understatement.

“Hey, Laura…” Sean greeted, trailing off as he surveyed their surroundings looking for Kaycee. His best friend's mother waved at him from beside her car, gesturing for him to come over.

“I was just in the area and Miya said you had class  here, so I offered to take you home instead.” She said as he approached. This only confused Sean even more; his house was two hours out of the way of the Rice household.

“Is everything okay?” He asked suspiciously, treading lightly.

“Of course.” Laura replied, opening her car door and getting into the driver seat. “Nothing to worry about, sweetheart.”

The nagging feeling at the back of his mind stayed but Sean decided to let it go, not wanting to be disrespectful to his best friend's mother. He quickly got into the passenger seat and buckled in. With a final smile at him, Laura started the car and pulled out of the parking lot.

Despite his exhaustion, Sean forced himself to stay awake and make conversation. Laura was like his second mom.

She asked him how his class went, and that new dish he cooked up with his dad over the weekend. She updated him on the plans for the upcoming trip to the lake house for Kylie's homecoming, and confirmed Sean's attendance. They talked about the new project Sean and Kaycee were doing with Tessandra, and the possibility of another collab class.

After being partners for several years, Sean became an honorary Rice, a constant fixture in their life, just as they were a constant in his.

But after the first hour of the ride, despite sifting through several topics of conversation, Sean still couldn't shake off the nagging feeling at the back of his mind. It was like a hot stone, burning through his brain, telling him that Laura wasn't there by coincidence.

She had something to say, and it probably wasn’t good.

Finally, when they were about half an hour away from his house, Laura bit the bullet.

“So.” She sighed, making the boy look at her. “Sean.”

“Yes?”

Laura turned momentarily to steal a glance at the boy. “I wasn't actually just in the area. I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Yeah, I figured.” Sean smirked smugly.

“I knew you would.” The woman rolled her eyes at him. But just as quickly as it came, her smile slid off her face and she became serious. “But I just wasn't sure how to approach it.”

Sean furrowed his brows. “Is something wrong?”

“No, no. Everything is okay.” She smiled sadly and reached over to pat his hand reassuringly. “I just…”
Laura sighed heavily, bracing herself.

Suddenly, she tugged on the steering wheel and pulled over. When she pulled the handbrake up, Sean's blood ran cold, fearing it was a long talk.

Finally, she turned to face him.

“You love Kaycee.” She said.

He didn't expect that.

“You're in love with Kaycee, Sean.”

Oh, he didn't expect that at all.

Sean wasn't sure what his expression was like at that moment, but he immediately schooled his features into amused nonchalance.

“Was that supposed to be a question?” he chuckled, averting his eyes. But Laura seemed to detect a hint of nervousness in his tone and pity flooded the woman's system.

“No, it's a statement.” Laura said. “We all know it's true.”

The boy may have turned away, but his audible sharp intake of breath rang through the car. Laura eyed him carefully, training her caring gaze on him.

“Look, Sean.” She began, placing a warm hand on his forearm. Sean made eye contact again, keeping his face neutral. “What I'm about to say, know that I am telling you this because I love you. You are like a son to me, and I care about you with my whole heart. You are family, and I hate seeing you get hurt.”

Sean nodded, but said nothing.

Instead, he built a wall. Brick by brick, he stacked up every happy memory of hazel eyes, high pitched giggles, and warm rosy cheeks in an effort to shield his heart.

Braced for impact.

“I think it's time to move on, sweetheart.”

The words ricocheted through Sean's soul, an atomic bomb that destroyed his carefully crafted wall and everything he held close.

He closed his eyes, scrambling to keep the pieces together – hazel eyes, high pitched giggles, warm rosy cheeks.

“You and Kaycee have been partners for what, four going on five years now? And you've been friends for much longer. But for as long as we've known you, we could see that you feel differently for her.” Laura continued.

Sean released a shaky breath, his eyes remaining shut.

“Does Kaycee know?” He said. He immediately hated how small and afraid he sounded.

“I'm not sure.” Laura squeezed his forearm. “But I don't see how she wouldn't know.”

Hazel eyes, high pitched giggles, warm rosy cheeks. Sean tried, but he couldn't keep the tears at bay anymore.

“Honey, please.” Laura urged, giving his arm another squeeze. Sean finally opened his eyes.

The late afternoon light flooded his sight, and the world became this big overwhelming place. Everything was too bright and too loud, and here he was, being told to let go of his safest, most peaceful haven.

Laura wasn't done. “Kaycee cares about you deeply, and loves you. In what way? We don't know. And I just can't stand seeing you get hurt anymore.”

Sean's mind raced to the incident last week, the most recent in a line of millions.

He had finished a session at the gym with the Rice ladies. Laura was making small talk with a friend of hers, which left Sean, Kaycee, and Kylie to wait for her by the front desk.

A guy about his age came up to end his conversation. At first, they simply side-stepped him so he had space to talk to the gym personnel. But once he was done, he turned to them. Specifically, he turned to Kaycee.

“Excuse me,” he said. “I don’t mean to interrupt but you're really pretty and I couldn't help but notice you in there.”

Fire and ice ran through Sean's veins, but he but his tongue until it threatened to bleed. He pinned his arms to his sides, watching the familiar blush he adored make its way up Kaycee's cheeks.

“Thanks.” She murmured, alternating his gaze between Sean and his sister.

“I'm David.” The guy flashed her a smile and extended a hand.

“Kaycee.” She shook his hand and smiled back. “This is my sister Kylie, and my friend Sean.”

Friend, he thought. Not even best friend. She referred to simply as a friend.

David smiled at them too, which Sean thinks he managed to reciprocate. But the other guy quickly brought his attention back to Kaycee.

“I was wondering if you'd like to go out sometime.” Oh, he was bold.

Kaycee giggled. “I don’t even know you, and you don't know me.”

“But I'd like to.” David insisted. He went back to the front desk and asked for a piece of paper, then quickly jotted something down.

“Here,” he jogged back over to Kaycee. “In case you decide you want to get to know me more.”

He handed the paper with his number on it. But Sean's brain seemed to have stopped functioning after ‘friend'.

Sean was pulled out of his reverie when the car started moving again.

“You may be strong enough to roll with the punches, but just how long can you take it?” Laura asked, her voiced clipped with pain. “After all these years, honestly, how much left do you have to give?”

Everything, Sean thought. She can have everything. She can take it all.

“I know that this is hard to hear. And believe me, it tears me to tell you this because I'm rooting for you too. I want you to be my son, officially, someday.”

What ifs raced through his imagination, little moments through the years that made him hope that Kaycee felt the same way. So many birthdays, so many family gatherings, so many trips to the lake house with only her family.

Moments that made him think that this was the life he wanted until the end of his days. Living by her side, whatever it took.

“But you are dying inside everyday and it is too much to watch. So, please, please, think about it.” Laura was begging now. It hurt him to see her plead to him.

“So what do you want me to do?” Sean managed to croak out. He didn't want to sound bitter, but he did. “Just stop being partners with her? Just stop coming around?”

“I honestly don't know.” Laura shook her head. They were almost at his house now. “Whatever it would take for you to move forward. Kaycee is my daughter, and I love her. But you have a special place in my heart. I just want you to stop hurting.”

He said nothing for the remaining stretch of the ride. Fire and ice coursed through his system, and he was about to puke.

When Laura pulled up to his house, Sean whispered a quick thanks and hopped out.

“I'm sorry, Sean.” Laura called after him. “Please, just consider it.”

He nodded without a second glance at her.

~~~

Author's Note: This was part of the original plot of my "Make Up Your Mind" book, but that story took its own course. So I finally got around to writing this.