Chapters: Stories on Sean & Kaycee

Let Go Part 4

5 months, 3 weeks, and 5 days.

Just a few days later, there he was again - at the doorway of TMilly Studios for Bailey's class.

His effect on her hadn't dulled in the slightest - her heart still raced, and her lungs threatened to explode from the lack of oxygen - but at least she was getting better at expecting it and maintaining her composure. Kaycee worried that her heart had so easily latched on to his resurfacing in her life, knowing full well that he could disappear again.

"You should talk to him." Bailey hissed at her as Sean paused by the doorway to greet a few friends.

"No way, Bails." Kaycee hissed back, quickly looking around to check if someone heard them. "I'm not making the first move."

"And why the hell not?" The Asian girl no longer hiss-whispered. She faced her head on with a sharp, frustrated look that made Kaycee quake, despite Bailey being younger than her.

"Because," Kaycee cast her gaze to the floor and shuffled her feet nervously. "I've hurt him too much. I don't want to initiate anything he isn't ready for."

Kaycee knew she was taking the easy way out again, turning away like the coward she had become. But at the same time, she wanted to play it safe. His parting smile from the last time gave her renewed hope that maybe, just maybe, they weren't irreparable - it was the first ray of sunshine peeking through a storm cloud, the first drop of rain in the desert. They were at a fragile precipice, and one wrong move could tip the scales in favor of better or worse.

Her friend gave an exasperated, over-the-top sigh. "He knew that you'd be here, Kayc."

"What?" Kaycee whipped her head so fast, she was sure her brain got jostled a bit.

"Yeah, he asked me if you were coming today and I told him yes." Bailey shrugged. "And he. Still. Came. So get your shit together and make this worth his while."

Bailey shoved her in the direction of Sean, making her stumble harshly, but thank god for quick reflexes. Kaycee caught herself before she face planted on the hardwood floor. She spun on her heel and glared at her friend. But Bailey just bit her lip and mouthed "Sorry!". With an irritated growl, Kaycee trudged back to her bag in the far corner of the room to compose herself.

In the mirror, she watched him discreetly. Ever the social butterfly, he was busy chatting with people left and right. It doesn't look like he's spotted her yet.

Kaycee felt anticipation traitorously bloom in her chest. It's strange, and dangerous, how just a few encounters made her get used to having him, or at least some semblance of him, in her life again. It was only a shadow, a ghost of who they used to be, but it was something.

She wondered if he'd choose to sit next to her again. She hoped, against reason and logic she did; but Kaycee was also well aware that he could easily choose not to.

Calm down, she thought, placing a hand over her racing heart. It would break her if she allowed herself to hope too much, to get used to what little she could get, only to have him walk away. She sobered herself with the reminder that they hadn't actually fixed anything - they still lived in a reality where she broke him and he left.

Much to her relief, a familiar thud sounded to her right, and Kaycee glanced down to find his backpack just inches from her foot.

"Hi," She meekly said, just short of a whisper, when he bent down over his bag next to her. She didn't want to say it loudly, scared she'd be rejected, and even more afraid that she'd put him in a situation where he felt forced to respond.

At the sound of her voice, his eyes snapped up. They were bright but guarded.

"Hi," He greeted back, voice carefully measured. Kaycee hated that he didn't trust her. Or perhaps rather he didn't trust being around her.