My Happiest Memory - Boyf Riends AU -

2.4 How to live with no memories

A year ago today, I woke up in a hospital.

A year ago today, I woke up with no memories.

A year ago today, my whole life changed.

My name is Jeremy Heere. My father is dead and my mother left me when I was a kid. I'm friends with Rich Goranski, Jake Dillinger, Christine Canigula, Chloe Valentine, Brooke Lohst and Jenna Rolan. I went through a surreal sci-fi disaster during high school. Now I work at a bar, watching people drinking their problems away.

Oh yeah - and I have amnesia. 

The car crash itself was honestly not the worst one out there. Doctors told me I should've regained all my memories by now. So why haven't I? Well that sci-fi disaster seems to be interfering with my life even though it's gone. Fun - I know.

My mind often goes back to that first memory I got. That very first, dream-like memory that came to me at the very beginning. Lying peacefully, the sun shining down on me and him.

Him.  

I try to forget about him. I try to but him at the back of my mind - but no matter what I try, my day always ends with wondering what would happen if I could find him - talk to him.

My hands gripped the cloth tighter as my mind went over the past year. Everybody had been very supportive of me - which I really did appreciate. They'd helped me as much as I could, but as hard as they've tried - nobody can save me from my own mind, as much as I wish they could. 

I dropped the cloth beside me by the sink, reached forward and twisting the nob at the bottom of the tap, stopping the rushing water falling from the metal pipe. I put the glass I'd finished cleaning on the drying rack, turning around to face the drunken lost souls at the bar.

The appeal of alcohol is a tempting thing. The idea of just drinking it all away just sounds so... Easy. I was beginning to recognise the frequent visitors - the people truly broken. At these times in the night that was all I saw. People who'd given up. Gaggles of teenagers and rowdy football lads had all left at this time.

All that was left were the people that just didn't want to go back to everything waiting for them.

I nodded towards my co-worker, Adam, who was gesturing for me to start closing up. With a sigh, I cleared my throat. Announcing to the people still sitting - quiet - that it was closing time. One by one, they stood up - a few with a drunken wobble.

Adam nodded at me with a smile, herding the remaining customers out of the door as I went around each table, picking up stray glasses and plates left from previous customers. It may sound terrible - my job.

Having a late night shift doesn't sound appealing to anyone - that is apart from me, who asked specifically for this shift.

It distracts me. It takes my mind off how empty my head feels. I can't sleep nowadays - I'm just ridden with nightmares, longing to just remember. Remember everything, remember who I was before. 

I want to become me again, but at this point I've almost lost all hope that that will ever happen. That was when I heard frantic knocks on the door. I rolled my eyes, standing up and walking over, preparing myself to turn away distressed looks as they so often were.

"I'm sorry we're closed-"

"Jeremy!"