My Happiest Memory - Boyf Riends AU -

2.7 How to fix a friendship pt.1

My heartbeat quickened. I could hear it. I felt my body grow numb as I just stared at the screen in shock.

"Jeremy?"

I didn't want to listen to them. I didn't have to, either. 

"Jeremy - dude, you're looking pretty pale. You feeling okay? Has something happened? Christine, can you check if something has happened?"

My one chance - or so I thought. It was almost funny. I'd said this would happen.

"I- Rich, he... Look."

He didn't want to speak to me, I get that. I can't force him to. Who'd want to talk to me anyway?

"That little bitch! Hand that over to me now!"

No... No there's no point. He doesn't want to talk to me - and that's okay. I should have just given up and left it that way. 

"No!- Wait, Rich. This is probably all just some misunderstanding." 

They're fighting. They're fighting around me. I don't want them to fight.

"Calm down - both of you! Can't you see Jeremy isn't taking this well. We all know he has anxiety. Now shut up and let's actually do something useful. We can deal with Michael later."

They stopped. That's good. I'm happy they've stopped. 

"Jeremy?"

My attention snapped back to the world around me, the calling of my name dragging me out from my own mind. I stared at the three figures crouched at eye level down in front of me, looking at me with worried expressions. 

"Jeremy, you okay?" Jake asked in a soft and calming voice. I opened my mouth to speak, but I couldn't force any words out. "It's okay." He smiled at me. "You don't have to talk - I understand." 

"No... It's fine." I smiled weakly at him. "Just... Didn't expect that is all. Just panicked, but I'm fine now." Rich and Jake glanced at each other, doubt in their eyes. "Really." I added.

"Don't worry, Jeremy. Michael probably just doesn't realize what's happened. We can explain everything-" Christine began to ramble.

"No." They looked up at me in shock. I sighed. "I want to tell him in person."

"You do realize that's just going to be making it harder for yourself. You could clear up this whole misunderstanding now. You could skype him or something if you wanted to do it face to face-"

"No!" I repeated, this time more firmly. I don't know why I was so sure of what I wanted to do, but it was the one fact that was firm, grounded - unmoving. So naturally, I was not planning to budge from my first gut decision.

I'd work this out. Even if that meant putting up with this misunderstanding for the time being.

Rich, Jake and Christine watched as I turned back to Christine's laptop, preparing myself to send another message. I looked at the screen. I looked at Michael's message. What could I say to fix this? What could I say to make everything turn out okay? Oh, I know.

I knew exactly what to say. I knew what to send. I knew that what I was about to say was probably long overdue, but maybe - just maybe, it could help me. Could help us.

'I'm sorry.'