Closer (Negan X OC)

Chapter 24

About half an hour later, I found myself in one of the back rooms of The Hideaway, making sure that my borrowed guitar was in tune. When we arrived, I had escorted Negan to a small table tucked into a corner where he would still be able to see me onstage. Before leaving, I got him a beer to keep him happy for the time being and commanded for him to stay put. Sitting here now, I couldn't help but think about Negan's demeanor tonight. He was in an environment far different from his own, but seemed excited at the newness of everything. Even more so, he was intrigued by seeing a part of me that was foreign to him. The notion both excited and terrified me. I knew that when I stepped on that stage and began to sing, I would essentially bare a part of my soul to him, let down that wall that I'd worked so hard to build. But maybe, just maybe, a part of his wall built up by his facade and status as the alpha would begin to crumble.

But what then, the voice in my head asked, and I felt the clouds begin to roll in once again, dark and heavy, followed by a string of thoughts that felt as if they would drown me. My heart rate increased and my breathing became shallow as I attempted to focus on myself. But when I tried to think of me, my mind immediately went to Negan. Negan grinning widely as we ate dinner and I enjoyed his food. The heat of Negan's body and scent engulfing me on the couch. The way Negan devoured my body constantly, especially showing his appreciation for my jacket so similar to his. The presence of Negan in my mind ultimately helped me center myself, and once again, the clouds began to clear.

A knock on the door brought me out of my thoughts.

"Carson, we're on in five," Nick said.

"I'm coming," I replied, standing and swinging the guitar strap over my shoulder, letting the instrument fall behind me. As I moved to leave the room, I caught my reflection in a mirror, taking in my appearance one last time before I stepped on the stage. You can do this, I silently told my reflection.
I left the room and walked down the hallway towards the stage, finding my accompanying band already there waiting for me. I took my place in the middle of them, adjusting the microphone stand to below my height, and pulled my guitar to my front and plugged it into an amp. The house lights shined below the closed curtains, the murmur of the crowd making me smile. For the first time in a long time, I was beginning to feel like me again.

"You going to be on guitar all night?" Nick, the bassist and my caller asked me. He was tall and lanky, with shaggy blond hair, green eyes, and various tattoos scattered on his arms. We had been playing together for years, a comfortable friendship forming between us. I thought for a moment before answering.

"I'll play for the first few, but then I'll give it a break if that's okay."

He nodded. "Sounds good. We'll be fine with one guitarist. And I did pull up an old set list of yours if you wanna go with that." He moved to grab a list of songs that we could perform. The list included some of my personal favorite alternative bands and their songs.

But there was still something missing.

"It's good, but I want to add something new at the end," I said, pulling my phone out of my back pocket and quickly typing in the artist and song I had in mind given my personal request.

Nick nodded and quickly scrolled through the chords. "We've actually played this before, so you're good. You want to make it the last one?"

I smiled and nodded. "It'll be a little out of place if we do it in the middle of the set. Besides...I want to leave a lasting impression on someone."

Nick returned the smile and nodded before returning to his place at my side. The house lights dimmed, getting the crowd's attention, followed by their clapping and cheering. I took a breath as the curtains opened completely. The stage lights rose, illuminating myself and the band. As the lights hit us, the crowd cheered a bit harder—I had been well known here and my surprise return to the stage was a big deal to the local scene. Now it was time for me to be who I really was.

When the crowd's cheering began to lessen, I spoke.

"How is everyone doing tonight?" I asked, my voice echoing through the small space and oozing with confidence. My question was followed by more cheers. I looked around the crowd and my eyes found Negan's on their own accord. Although the light in the space was dim, I could see him perfectly. His charismatic smirk was present and his eyes were on me, and for a second, I allowed myself to gage his reaction. Intrigued, surprised, expectant. And then I realized he was right.

This was going to be real fun.