The Fragmented Luna

Will I Rise Up

Ann was the first person I saw when I woke up from the darkness. She paced back and forth across the hospital floor muttering incoherently to herself.  I moved in the bed awkwardly which caused Ann to stop in her tracks. Ann stood still for few moments but then looked in my direction. She made direct eye contact with me and rushed over to my bedside.  Ann flung her arms outwards while holding me tight against her body. I tried to repel from her touch but she refused to back away. 

"Rowen, I'm so glad you're awake. You have no idea how worried I was when you didn't show up for your appointment", Ann said. "A boy answered your phone to tell me you were here", Ann said. Finally, Ann backed out of the hug, she gave me room to breath. She didn't leave my bedside like I wanted her to do. Instead she hovered over my bedside like a mother hen would hover over their eggs. 

"I'm sorry I made you worry", I told her. I didn't want her to worry about me; I didn't deserve her kindness. If today taught me anything it was that I was someone who didn't deserve friends. Anytime I had a little bit of happiness in my life something came along to rip that happiness away. All I wanted was to be alone in my room with my paint brushes and my easel. I could hide myself in my room where the world felt safe beneath my fingertips. 

"No, hush now. Your Aunt Tabby is on her way. She is worried about you. Apparently you've been getting yourself into trouble lately", Ann said in an intrigued tone. I looked away from her towards the gown that was covering my stomach. I ran my hand against my stomach then reached up to feel bandages over the slashed skin on my face. I felt anger building to an all time high from Ann's inquisition jnto my personal business.

"Great, that's just wonderful", I said sarcastically. I threw my hands up in the air pissed off at the world. "I'm sure her and Samuel will be delighted. You can tell them not to worry I won't make any friends anymore", I said in a bitter tone. I stomped out of the hospital bed into the nearby bathroom to be alone. 

I looked into the mirror worried about my long curly red hair. There was a clump of my hair missing on one side but it wasn't too noticeable. I would have to angle the rest of the hair to cover up the spot but there was no permanent damage. I crunched into a ball on the floor crying my eyes out. I wanted to thank the boy who helped me keep my promise to my mom. I stayed in the hospital bathroom for quite some time before I heard people talking in hushed voices. 

"Please come out Rowen. It's Aunt Tabby. I'm not angry, I just want to make sure you're safe sweetie", Aunt Tabby said softly. I shuffled over to the bathroom door unsure of myself. I wanted to trust my Aunt Tabby but she was never really an affectionate person. It felt weird to hear her call me a term of endearment because for so long she avoided looking in my direction. 

"Are you alone", I asked her. I didn't want to see Samuel on the other side of that door. I needed Aunt Tabby waiting for me outside that door alone. I wanted to reach out but I didn't feel trusting of Aunt Tabby anymore. I felt empty. 

"Ann is here. She told me to come alone. So I'm here. Sweetie you have to let me in", Aunt Tabby said in a hoarse tone. I opened the lock to face whatever waited for me outside that door. As I opened the door I saw Aunt Tabby's tear filled face on the other side. It was the first time Aunt Tabby ever cried for me before. She reached for me and wrapped her arms around me in a tight embrace. 

"I'm sorry", I cried out loud. I sobbed for a long time in my Aunt Tabby's arms letting myself feel the love in those arms. Ann stood behind me patting my hair repetitively in a calmingly tender manner. It was nice to relax without worrying about the world around me. I breathed in deeply as a peace settled over my soul. I realized these were the people who loved me.

"Aunt Tabby. Ann", I stated in a soft tone. "You're crushing me now", I told them both. They looked at each other, looked at me, and then broke out into laughter. I'm not sure what exactly there was to laugh about but I enjoyed to see the smiles back on their faces. The laughter died down as a somberness entered the room. A palpable tension filled their faces as they looked at me.

"Rowen, your friend Valerie and the boy with her told us what happened". Aunt Tabby said. "Do you think you can explain the situation clearly", she asked. I cast my eyes downward to avoid the subject. I had so many questions that I wanted answers to such as; What was Valerie doing there, Who was the boy, and What did they tell Aunt Tabby and Ann? 

"I don't want to talk about it right now. I just want to go home", I said. "Do you think it can just be the two of us for a few nights Aunt Tabby", I asked. I couldn't take another moment with Samuel breathing down my neck when I already felt exposed. I needed to be in my painting room with my smock on. I needed to breathe in the comforting aroma of my acrylic paint as I dipped the paint brush onto my easel. My hands became an extension of my soul as I swirled paint onto an empty canvas. 

"Alright, consider it done", Aunt Tabby stated. "But you have to promise me to call back Valerie. She is a good friend", Aunt Tabby told me. I looked at her incredulously because Aunt Tabby never shown me this much love before. I was afraid of seeing Valerie again because I didn't want her to get hurt. Ember's escalating violent behavior was proof that it wasn't safe to be around me. 

"I don't know. I'm not sure she will even talk to me though", I stated solemnly. My self-esteem was an all time low thanks to earlier. Also I wasn't sure Valerie would speak to me anymore. Valerie saw for herself that I was weak, ugly and deformed. 

"Trust me. She wants to talk to you. Just check your phone", Ann stated. She pulled the phone out of her pocket nervously. "That boy gave it to me. He saved your life", she said as she gave me back my phone. I held the phone with unsteady hands. I put it in my pocket because I was too nervous to look inside.

"Maybe ill wait then", i said still not ready to face the world. "By the way, What was that boys name", I asked with intrigue. It seemed like this boy who saved me was my own hero. I wanted to know the kindhearted boy that showed me such compassion.

"Oh yeah, what did he say his name was Ann", Aunt Tabby asked her. Aunt Tabby scratched the top of her head pondering the thought. Something clicked because Ann rummaged through some papers within her purse. She pulled out a piece of paper running her hand along the edge as she skimmed through.

"Yes. His name is Nixon. I made sure to get his contact information. He's such a sweet young boy", Ann said. I looked at Ann like she had two heads. There was obviously a mistake here because the Nixon I knew was not sweet or young looking. I grabbed the paper from Ann's hand to read the info scrawled on it. I looked at the faded writing on my hand to confirm his identity. The writing was an exact match. Nixon saved me. The only question I had now was why?