The Fragmented Luna

Messy Essays

I ran down the hallway, like someone possessed, towards any destination but the art classroom. All I felt were my scars burning on my face like someone had put an iron to my taut skin. I hid in the bathroom pressing a wet paper towel up against the burning scars. I hoped,  that if I could keep the skin cool, then the fire inside of me would stop burning. It took an entire hour of agony for the pain to subside from the old wound. 

I reminded myself, as I splashed water against my flushed skin, that I just had to get through the motions of the day. The tonight I would be able to slip into the forest with Valerie as soon as no one was watching. I hoped both the pouring rain and the flashbacks to my past would dissipate as I got closer to my destination. I looked up at the clock realizing it was already lunch time. I knew that if I didn't show up to lunch soon they would notice that I was gone.

I walked into the lunchroom stiffly until I spotted Valerie sitting in the far corner with Nixon. I sat down at the table to see them sharing the lunch Mrs. Smith had packed earlier. I could sense Valerie wanted to ask me about my disappearance from last period but she remained silent. It was NIxon who stared me down hoping that I would crack. 

"You're in pain", he whispered as he reached his hand out to touch my face gently. The care he showed as he touched me was too overwhelming to handle. I couldn't help but feel confused by my racing heart rate. I also didn't feel like I wanted him to touch me so intimately, especially when there was too much bad stuff between us. I wasn't ready to face anything right now. 

"I'm fine. Please don't worry about me", I begged him softly. The more he cared the deeper into despair I fell at the thought of losing him. I reminded myself there was too much water under this bridge for it to remain standing through a storm. I felt his pain as I pulled away from him as I turned my gaze to the floor below me. 

"Alright Rowen. But you and I are bonded. You will tell me soon enough", he said as he flicked his fingers under my chin. He brought me eye level so that his blue eyes stared into mine. I nodded my head in agreement to his words. I was aware that I couldn't avoid these feelings towards him forever. If I could just make it through the next few days then maybe I could consider having him closer to me. I tuned everyone at the lunch table out as I focused on eating the sandwich Valerie handed me. 

During the remainder of my classes, I listened to all my teachers going on about things, I had no energy to focus on my teachers. It didn't matter the amount of activities I chose to occupy myself the past kept following me around. Samuel was out there watching me, I was on the verge of some psychotic break and some prophesy claimed I would dead by the end of the school week. I still didn't know the why's or the how's but I knew everything was going to end very soon.

As the last period of the day started the rain remained relentless as it poured down violently. I stared angrily at Mr. Hawthorne who kept fiddling with the chalk in his hand more so than usual. It also didn't help that a certain somebody was groveling around like a lost puppy wherever I turned his was. Speaking of the lost puppy; his eyes were staring into mine sulking as I continued to close myself off from him. I didn't have the time to think about that electrical pulsating that ran through my body from just his glance alone. 

"Alright class. It's time for you to gather with your partner. You will all stand in front of the class discussing what you learned about each other this week and hand in your essays", Mr. Hawthorne said. I sighed at the thought of having to move closer towards Nixon's heated gaze. I pulled my paper from my folder feeling awkward as Nixon sat next to me. "Nixon and Rowen, you can go first", Mr. Hawthorne remarked.

I looked down at the words I had written about Nixon. Everything I had written about him was so different than what I had thought about him only a few years ago. I had been living with my eyes shut in an effort to protect myself. I closed my heart off from loving anyone to protect myself from the pain of losing them. I realized now that by closing myself I had ignored the kindness beneath his tough attitude.

"I'll go first", Nixon stated in a soft tone. "I had always thought Rowen was someone who shut others out. Over the past week I learned that, even someone like me, can find goodness in her heart. I'm sorry I judged you Rowen And I plan on spending the rest of my life getting to know you", Nixon stated as he stared into my soul. It was so silent in the room as everyone watched the tough guy speaking so eloquently. I was doomed; these feelings from the moment we met would never go away. Nixon stepped closer to me making the distance between us almost non-existent. 

"Ahem, Nice job Nixon", Mr. Hawthorne said stopping Nixon from continuing whatever he was about to do. "Rowen, what would you like to say?", he asked awkwardly. I moved away from Nixon to face Mr. Hawthorne with embarrassment. At this point I was pretty sure that I was red from the tips of my toes to the roots of my hair.

"Yes, Mr. Hawthorne", I said softly. "Nixon is hard to be with but once you know him he is loyal, strong and kind. That's all", I said. I knew my speech wasn't as personal as Nixon's but I needed to maintain my distance from him. 

"Alright, nicely done. As soon as you hand in your papers you are welcome to leave", Mr. Hawthorne said. I handed him the paper I clutched in my hand then made my hasty exit from his classroom. I knew that Nixon was right behind me but I kept walking as fast as I could. I reached the end of the hallway cornered with no means of escaping.

"Leave me alone", I sputtered softly. Nixon recoiled at the desperation that was very clear in my voice. "I'm not the person you were looking for that girl is dead. Let her go", I said pulling away from him as I tried every lie in my book. "Let me go", I said desperately. 

"I can't", Nixon said as he punched the wall angrily. "It is fate. You can't resist this, but have it your way for now", he said as he pulled fist away from the wall. He left me shaking on the ground as he left me to myself. I used the moment to send Valerie a quick text with shaky hands 'Please come get me. Nixon and I had a fight'. 

'I'll be there in a minute. Wait right there. I'll find you' she texted me back. I stayed on the floor waiting for this sadness to pass. Nixon was right I couldn't keep resisting whatever was happening to me. It would destroy me, but what exactly was happening to me, I wondered.