The Fragmented Luna

The dinner

I walked behind Valerie into the enormous but simply designed dining room with my nerves on high alert. There was a glass table that extended across the room that looked like it could fit a village of people in it. My eyes landed on Nixon who sat next to Ian on one side of the table chatting animatedly with him. At the head of the table was a dark haired man with a pile of meatloaf on his plate who was definitely Mr. Smith. Valerie looked just like her dad with that black hair and blue eyes to match. I turned back towards Valerie who pointed at someone with a smile on her face. I turned in that direction and saw Nixon with his blue eyes staring at us both weirdly.

The look on Nixon's face distracted me from my walking so that I tripped over my own feet falling onto the floor with a loud thud. I heard Valerie chuckle beside me drawing everyone's attention towards my clumsy form on the ground. I gathered myself together to stand up to face everyone with my cheeks on fire. I looked at Nixon who was no longer looking in my direction but laughed into his napkin silently. Ian gave the thumbs up sign towards me with a wink in my direction. I wished I could be anywhere but here at the moment silently cursing Valerie for pointing at Nixon before.

"Nice of you to help your friend up Val", the voice I heard screaming earlier said. I looked in the direction of that voice to see Valerie's mom, Mrs. Smith with gorgeous blonde hair that flowed down her back, staring at me. She stood with a toddler on her hip in one arm, a bowl of something that smelled heavenly in her other arm, and a look of disapproval on her face towards Valerie. Another child who was no older than five trailed behind Mrs. Smith with a stuffed bunny rabbit clutched in his hands shyly. 

"It's not my fault Nixon and her were too busy staring each other down. You know how it is when two people are in love", she joked with her mom while throwing her hands up in the air nonchalantly. "Anyway let me help you with that mom", Valerie stated as she rushed over to her mother. I stood there watching their interaction while still recovering from my embarrassment awkwardly. I was glad that the attention had now shifted towards Mrs. Smith who clearly needed help with setting up dinner.

"Do you need help sweetie", Valerie's dad said as he finally looked up from his plate of food towards his wife with a dopey look in his eyes. If looks could kill Mr. Smith would disintegrate by the look his wife gave him at that moment. Mr. Smith seemed kind of clueless about everything around him but he looked at his wife with the deepest of love in those eyes. The angry expression in Mrs. Smith's eyes faded away to be replaced with that same look of love. 

I wondered if my father ever looked at my mother this way during their time together. I didn't remember my father's eyes ever showing my mother that type of all consuming love that could pierce through ones soul. In fact I never thought of my father too often because it brought sadness into my heart. I didn't remember much about my father but I never questioned my lack of memories. I remembered my mother staring at my father with love and adoration but I drew a blank every time I thought of my father. It caused the pounding in my head to grow if I thought about it too much. Either way the love that Mr and Mrs. Smith showed each other was a testimony to the warmth of their household. 

"Would you like to join us sometime soon", Ian stated as he approached me from the side. I wasn't expecting him to appear from behind me so I jumped away from him. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. You looked a little lost", Ian stated awkwardly with his hands held in an apologetic gesture. I felt eyes boring into my face looking over to see Nixon staring at Ian with a look of contempt on his features. I backed away from Ian afraid that Nixon might harm me if I stepped any closer to his friend. It was hard to know what Nixon thought; his mood swings were like fire and ice. 

"I'll take my seat", I said backing away from him. Nixon's expression relaxed as I moved away from his best friend. I didn't quite understand why I cared so much about the way Nixon looked at me but he kept drawing me in. Somehow Nixon was trickling into my every thought like a poison invading my veins. I wanted to keep away from his danger but I felt drawn in like a moth to flame. I sat down next to Valerie in the seat feeling anxious to eat the dinner before me. Everyone had already settled down to eat their meals with vigor and I was just about to start eating. I felt a little tug on my sleeve only to see that same five year old boy with the bunny staring into my eyes. 

"Can I sit next to you", the little boy asked nervously. I nodded my head in response while patting on the seat next to me. The little boy hopped up to the table holding onto the bunny for dear life. "I'm Mikey. This is bun bun. His name is Skip. Would you like to hold Skip?", Mikey asked in a happy tone.

"I'm Rowen its nice to meet you Mikey", i said in a soft tone. Mikey reminded me of myself as a young child with his innocence. "Are you sure I can hold Skip? He seems very important to you", I asked Mikey in a soft tone.

"Yep. Skip likes you", Mikey said with a wide smile. He thrust the little bunny into my hands happily. "He wants you to be his friend. Here", he said as he kept passing the raggedy looking bunny to me.

"Ill just put him right in this seat until dinner is over", I told Mikey as He nodded with gusto. I watched Mikey eyeing his food with disdain towards the meal in front of him. "Hey Mikey. Do you know if you eat your food Skip will be so happy", I said in a kind voice.

"Really", Mikey asked nervously. I nodded my head in response while placing Skip on the chair beside me. Mikey picked up his fork to eat his meatloaf hesitantly. As he took the first bite I watched his face light up at the taste of the meatloaf. I settled down to eat my full plate with a smile on my face. The meatloaf was heavenly as It nearly melted in my mouth with every bite I took. I understood why Valerie rushed down the stairs to make sure she had time to eat the meatloaf.

The rest of the meal everyone sat silently munching away on their food. After I emptied my plate of all food I looked up at the image before me. The family members sat around the table bantering with each other over the food with joy in their hearts. This was the definition of what it meant to be a real warm and loving family. I felt my heart overwhelmed by the sincerity that they showed me by inviting me into their home. The tears dripped down my eyes unexpectedly burning my face on the way down. Suddenly I felt a pair of arms wrap around me so gentle like a breeze in the night sky. I looked up to find Valerie with her arms wound around my shoulder tightly.

"I'm so sorry", she whispered as she caressed my hair. "I can't even imagine life without my family. Who knows how long its been for you but you deserve better", she said as she patted my head. For the first time in a long time I let love into my aching heart; I would never be the same.